Nayasha a sorceror searched for years for the Pearl of Power and now she has it. Unfortunately its in her stomach due to a rather unfortunate accident while escaping the underwater temple that held it. But all she needs to do is use a simple spell to extract it, right? Too bad she had a glass of water first.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.83
- BE: 3.67
- Characters: 3.83
- Technical: 3.17
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Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Blamandude
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
deux_anges
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Agree with the others, overall it was an enjoyable read. The premise of the story is good, and I did also like the belly and butt inflation themes. In terms of style, more descriptions of the inflation and the character's feelings towards it would have been nice. In terms of technical writing, the text needs proof-reading. There were many errors and some parts did not flow very smoothly.
Nevertheless, keep up the good work. Improvement only comes from practice! :)
hmhmhm
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
GN
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
It isn't bad, but it does need some proofreading done. Sentences seemed to collide together.
Keep practicing and fix up your grammar a bit and it'll be a lot better.
Cpplink
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Overall, I liked this story. I haven't seen to many stories with water inflation in them. There were a few technical problems such as punctuation and wrong words. The expansion scenes were somewhat lacking. Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading it, and I hope to read the sequel soon.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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