Thanks to everyone who commented on my first writing attempt. I'm not a writer, just having fun. After the few first comments I was close to giving up, the comments were harsh to nasty and without any advice. I hope part II is enjoyable. More to come!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.00
- BE: 4.11
- Characters: 3.44
- Technical: 3.44
En
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
I think this is a great attempt and very interesting approach to the subject. I'm really looking forward to more.
zee k
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Loved it, eager for the next chapter!
Kowalski
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 1
I agree the mechanics of your storytelling need a lot of work, but the premise is good and generally speaking I enjoy these kinds of stories, where things get out of hand for the guy while the girl(s) control the outcome. I'd like it if in Pt. 3 Rachel made sure that his boobs got even larger and his libido raged out of control and then in the end she found herself trapped in that body. Standard fare I guess, but keep 'em coming.
joce37
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I enjoyed this story very much. The lactation element together with the TG ensured that it worked for me. Can't wait for the sequel.
Duuude
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Same here. You're doing great. My only suggestion would be to go into more detail about the expansion and how it feels and looks. Looking forward to the next chapter.
fraggle
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Even better than part 1. You're on a roll.
Bravo
Culex
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 1, Technical= 4
This tale needs to end with the body-stealers being punished. Else this is just a sick, revolting tale that no amount of BE can rescue.
Genoharden
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Bad reviews come with the calling my friend. And I saw the earlier reviews, it was like 7 good to 3 bad.....
Anyways, better version. Part 2 was better than Part 1.
Only thing I have to say is that in dialogue, to state who's speaking, you don't put they're name in front of their dialogue. For example:
Wrong: Redhead "So you’re going home now?"
Right: "So you’re going home now?" The redhead asked.
daimon
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Hey, I haven't read pt 2. But please don't listen to the nay-sayers. Pt 1 was great. keep it up!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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