The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Virtual M
The Omnimage
After long abstinence I decided to write something new. Here my latest endeavour. If you like the story I'll continue it. // A magical potion changes Michaels life significantly. With virtually unlimited powers he explores the depths of his sexual desires. Enjoy the story - feedback is more than welcomed.
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

A lot of difficulty (and disruption) with the writing style and errors in grammar, spelling, and punctuation. I did make it through the story, however. There was almost no chracter development: Why did these women want to start a tribe of Amazons? Why should we care?

Worth reading, but I'd love to see you make another pass at it, and maybe ask someone to proof/edit your stories?

Thanks for sharing it!

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Nice Story Interesting concept

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I really enjoyed the story. The detail is really what got me enveloped into your story. The ending was very great: leaving a little something to hint of a continuation possibly coming out. Good stuff man, I'm looking forward to the rest!

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

a nice try. how will it go on?

Your Nickname
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

I loved the story. There were a lot of grammatical errors, but I don't think it took too much away from the story. Keep up the good work and maybe just have someone proofread your next story before you submit it.

Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

I enjoyed the story very much.
Though you made some errors, none of these hindered my reading significantly. What I didn't like was the font-size you used.
A font-size of 10-12 is perfectly adequate for most texts...making it size 18 makes it feel like "whoa, that's big" (which in retrospect might have been intended....nah, probably not) and it doesn't help the reading either, because that way you just have to scroll down more often, and it makes the text seem longer (at first glance) than it actually is.
Apart from that I quite liked your style of writing.
Another issue: The description of the changes was far too brief for my tastes, often taking up no more than a paragraph, where a whole Page (in size 12) would have been appropriate.
All in all you did a great job and I'd very much like to read more from you, just take some more time in describing the changes next time...that's why most of us read these stories after all ;)

very Free
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 2

I liked the story even though I'm not a fan of musclular chicks. I found over 200 errors, many of which were missing commas. The word 'catched' indicated to me that the author's primary language was not English. For that reason I cut the author some slack, and for the fact that even though the errors impeded the flow of the story, it was a hell of a lot better than many other stories here from native English speaking authors.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Some issues with noun-verb plurality agreement mar an otherwise perfectly good fantasy about women bulging out all over the place. It'd have liked the main character to come to grips a little more quickly with his powers, perhaps adding a few twists of his own to the women's transformations, but them's the breaks.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

glad to see you back

hope you keep writing :D

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

Being a gamer, I identified with the story concept. A few typos did interupt the reading flow a little. Overall I enjoyed the story and it will be interesting to see where you take it next.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 2


Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 1

There is a significant amount of typos that made it hard for me to fallow a lot of aspects of the story. It also seems like the writing style is like someone is writing it while holding their breath, if that makes sense.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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