A good story, but it seems like it wasn't proofread at all. The tenses frequently change mid sentence, there are a few spelling errors, and at one point Mike's name changes to "Greg." Those flaws make it less enjoyable to read than it might otherwise be.
It's also clearly written to be viewed as html, rather than text, perhaps submit it as an html file instead of text, as some authors do?
This chapter didn't have much BE, but the AG was nice. I wasn't sure if that would qualify for the BE rating, hence only a 3.
All in all, I like both chapters so far, and I'm looking forward to more. Hopefully there will be more character development as the story progresses.
