The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Dorian Phoenix
Warning this is a story full of furries, if it helps think of them as fuzzy aliens.

The idea for this story came from a sci fi book I read a long time ago, didn't realize when I started writing it where I had got the idea from.  I don't remember what the title of the book was but if it sounds like I stole the start of this from somewhere I did.

This is a story about a government lab doing things it should not do and the very bad people trying to cover up the fact that something very right was done there.
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Despite some glaring grammatical issues. This story was a great read. Not just the rushed BE scene of many of the stories, but a story with a plot that involved BE.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

There are too many stories on this site where the technical quality is low. Ah well, can't be helped. I love how this story isn't just a BE story, it's actually creative literature.

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

This story previously appeared a few years ago under the title "Superfur", though my copy suddenly cuts off about 2/3 of the way through.

Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

A few proofreader's notes:

a social clique, not click; you can't deny you like big butts, not deign that you like them.

Using Goddess in place of God... well, I'm not here to knock anyone's religion, but whenever this appears in a story, it always sounds forced to me. If the idea of a male God offends, just have your characters say 'goodness,' or, better yet simply avoid the construction altogether.

This is more a complaint about the awkwardness of the furrydom's self-referential language, but excising the words "person" and "someone" and replacing them with "fur" and, uh, "a fur" tweaks me as well. "Someone" isn't even species-specific!

Page 20: "leaned the was" -> "learned there was"?
Page 24: "She rubbed her belly in the hopes of quieting for another hour of sleep." line makes no particular sense in context.

More furrydom annoyances: DAMMIT, CALL IT SEX. "YIFF" is a godawful abomination of a word, be it noun, verb, or *shudder* adjective.

Page 45: missing a "was" near the bottom.
Page 46: "He would have other skills to defender when she finished." -> "He would have other skills to defend her with when she finished."?
Page 47: "Brenda's course the inside of" : "of course"?

Overall, a nice adult fable. The ending was a little weak, in my opinion, but well-executed.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 2

Good writing in terms of story development and characterization, just a few technical errors like grammar and staying in the same tense within the same paragraph

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

A great story, it sounded a little too childlike though.

elvis interuptis
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Great story. I was moved which is what fiction is supposed to do. Needs a final line edit.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
Your Nickname:

Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: