An 83 year old man discovers a djinn's lamp in a park, but then the old man says he's lived his life, and gives the lamp to a young newlywed couple he sees. This touches the djinn, and having his faith restored in humanity, he grants the old man his only wish, and is very generous to the couple. The djinn bestows a few wishes upon the couple, and, well, you can probably guess where this is headed...
Includes a preview of things to come in a future chapter.
Be sure to tell me what you think on the overflowing forum!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.20
- BE: 3.60
- Characters: 3.90
- Technical: 4.40
deus
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
A well done story. I can't wait for more!
Toymaker
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I read it twice, and should probably go back and read it a third time to make sure, but I've kept putting off rating this story as is. The first time I read it I skipped to the "good part" as you mentioned on the first page.
It was a little overwhelming, the sheer amount of transformation that seemed to be going on, and the way that it was happening, not to mention the fact that the sex scene was something like 10 pages long. This is just me, I think. PE's not really my cup of tea, and neither are hardcore sex or GTS, and the actual BE (to me) was kind of minimal, so the entire sequence didn't really do it for me.
Anyhow, the second time, I started from the beginning, and it actually helped the sex scene work better. I don't know how or why, but by the time I got to the sex, it made more sense. I was still a bit overcome by the length of the sex scene, but the characters were rather interesting to me, and I liked them.
On the whole, the characters balanced out the sex scene, which is why I gave it an overall of 3. If there is another installment, I will read it.
Anon
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Superb! Please write more!
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Really not a bad story, but definitely did not need to be in pdf.
g-man
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Very wonderful effort. Nice Story and some hot transformation stuff. Minor note: don't ever let the guy cumming not be a big deal. The second one seemed like you almost forgot to have him cum. But this is definitely one of the better stories posted here in a while
Stainless Steel Rat
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
I like this story a lot. Bravo for a very decent effort. I suggest a little tighter paragraph formatting in the document prior to conversion to .PDF (just a quibble, the spacing is a bit too much).
Beetlebomb
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I enjoyed your story very much. Not only was it fun to read but it helped me learn ways in which my own stories that I write can benefit. My only problem (personal preference) would be that the sex scene was very long and to drawn out. I was more interested in the storyline then just the genie walking away for a while and them fucking for hours on end. The score shows my enjoyment though. Thank you very much :)
VeryFree
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Mistakes were few and far between. Author has a vivid imagination. Intense but held my interest well. One complaint is the .PDF file had line lengths of about 80 chars, so it was hard to read. If the lines were 60 or 65 long, I could zoom in closer to have larger size letters.
Ouroboros
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Really great stuff, I'd appreciate a little more description here and there for the B.E. and other associated transformations, but on the whole this is a pretty great story.
The Good Admiral
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
A little too quick on the changes and too many all at once. It seemed they went rather quickly to the 'crazy' stuff.
Good writing ability...just not to my style:)
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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