puffyjones@hotmail.com
Jake and Gen continue their trip on the beach.
PLEASE GIVE COMMENTS, I'm writing this for the readers. Help me write for you :)
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.67
- BE: 3.00
- Characters: 3.67
- Technical: 3.42
one_eyed_jack
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Once again, good work. The only points in the story I didn't like were that I felt she was kind of malicious, and the lifeguard "scene" kind of snapped me out of the story. As for the actual BE - I think everyone is used to "on stage" growth, so it's out of the ordinary/unpopular to have it happen "off stage", but as I've said before it's really working for you so why change it? Keep going because I think you're definitely headed in the right direction!
anonymous coward
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Nice interaction between the characters, but...how about some sex in your dirty story?
ZenPaladin
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I'm really enjoying this series. There is nothing truely exceptional about it but the various parts of it come together to a whole that really gets me.
I like the pacing of the growth, the personalities of the characters, the situations they find themselves in.
Some how this tale has a high degree of believability that makes it great.
knar
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
The growth could use some actual description, it always seems like she grows when he's not around, then she comes back and he notices she's changed. He should actually see it happen for once.
Beetlebomb
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Thanks for the comments. I will take everything into consideration. Towards The Good Admiral, i've never seen that movie so i don't know how that would match up. The ending of Part 3 was to give the readers anticipation towards Part 4, and obviously unlike parts 1 and 2 it didn't give that effect. Once again, thank you. Part 4 is underway
The Good Admiral
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I'm sure for GTS fans this struck a wonderful note...however, I just picture it being a written word version of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman.
Ouroboros
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
It's a pretty interesting concept but I'd like to see some more plot development and much more growth description. Otherwise keep on working at it.
Hitman_Bravo
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I love the minigts/growth genres. I like where this is going, and like one of the other commenters said, there needs to be more detail on the growth sequences. But overall, I love it! Keep up the great work
Blamandude
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
I am satisfied by the story so far. Nothing epic but I like where it is going and what has happened. Keep up the pace!
Daboy
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
its got great potential but it really could use some more sexual details and growth details to spice it up... I was disappointed when they didn't do anything sexual on the beach or way out in the water... perfect opportunities to show how the dominance is shifting...also at the end I was expecting a fantastic blow job or something, but it ended with a hug...
Brokenangel099
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Your writing is very well done... technically that is. Since it's a first story I see why your uploading a Chapter, so to speak, at a time. So far development of the characters... hrm pun, is going well. You may want to detail their relationship as well. Perhaps concentrate more on describing the growth in one of your future continuations. I'm a Mini-GTS/Amazon fan, so the height is a wonderful addition to BE as far as I'm concerned. Otherwise keep up the good work.
aryan man
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
more about disaster than making her grow
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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