The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

g-man
gazamali@hotmail.com
Unlimited Sex
Lisa is your regular teenager who discovers an interesting force that lets her control her own body completely. Only then does the super kinky side of her come out and breasts grow and orgasms flow as she takes her body on a crazy ride. 
Average Scores:

SavageCabbage
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

I liked it, even though I felt like I'd read it before. I'm very interested to find where it's going! As has been mentioned, grammer is so important, but the revised version was a vast improvement!
Good Job!

Jason G
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

I should really pay more attention when I'm posting something here... I didn't notice that it was g-man himself talking about stealing pen names. I was talking about someone uploading a story in someone else's name, because I somehow thought that someone ages ago had posted stories under that name, and this new talent had inadvertently stolen someone's pen name. However, when I searched, there were no other stories posted under that name... so I messed up. Sorry about that!

Cobra
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

very good but too short

Jason G
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

I won't beat the dead horse (punctuation). The story itself was very good, and left me wanting more. I eagerly await your next installment! Also - check to make sure you aren't using someone else's nickname on here. There is no registration system to keep that from happenning - it works on the honor system here. Please help keep your stories from getting mixed up with someone else's, and check to see if the nick you want to use has already been used by someone else.

g-man
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Don't steal someone's pen name.

Hell-scythe
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 2

Very enjoyable story. Please, keep writing. Don't get down in the dumps with the grammer. It will come. Just don't stop writing.

Anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Keep up the good work, hope to see more soon!

nick_caesar
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

While the initial setup felt a little rushed — I would've appreciated a little more build-up of the characters — the descriptions of Lisa's various transformations were enjoyably well detailed. I hope you'll seek out the assistance of an editor in the Forums to help with the technical issues and bring us the next part of the story soon. Thanks for writing!

miffler
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

Nicely done. Work on the polish a bit more.

The Weasel
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

Excellent work!!! I'm really looking forward to your next installment. I am sure you get the point about grammar and punctuation by now so I won' repeat it. Keep up the good work.

Chase
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Keep up the good work!

Tigarr
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I enjoyed the story greatly and look forward to what's yet to come. As for the "technicals" (quotations, punctuation, etc.) - sometimes easy to overlook, especially if one is engrossed in the story. (Sometimes it is the fault of the word processor for making something appear as if it's there, even when it isn't - so I can overlook that).

A Nonny Mouse
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

An excellent story, but somewhat hard to digest given the formatting. Perhaps get someone from the forums to help you with proof-reading to iron out the foibles of grammar.

Keep writing! The content was definitely enjoyable and thought out. The technical aspects will hopefully come to you easily over time.

Rachelb
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I believe this is one of the best stories I ever read. I really would like to read more. Great story!!!! Please, keep writing like you are now…don’t pay a lot of attention to “punctuation marks” as somebody suggested, “imagination marks” is what we need in this site. Thank YOU!!!

The Light Fantastic
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

" " ' , .

These are punctuation marks. Please learn how to use them.

Other than that, pretty good. Your grammar is better than you generally see here. The actual story itself was great.

PyroWildcat
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

I agree with Very Free that you, the author, need to work on the technical aspects of your writing, though this story didn't deserve a '1' in that department; this one is actually ledgible, which is more than can be said for plenty of other stories.

Anyway, start putting quotation marks around what characters are saying, break up paragraphs a little more, and work on basic grammar and punctuation and I'm sure a lot of readers will be pleased.

You have some very unique and interesting ideas(unless they came from a story I haven't come across yet), so I very much hope that your writing ability improves so you'll be more able to do them justice. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Very Free
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 1

Author has some innovative ideas, to say the least. Lots of missing quotes around dialog, lack of punctuation, lack of paragraphs and some other technical glitches made it difficult to read. Overall I liked the story but it needs attention to the technical quality. I hope the next part with the boyfriend is better, technically.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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