Jake returns home to some.. changes.
This is my first BE story attempt, so I'd sincerely appreciate any feedback. Thank you.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.57
- BE: 4.00
- Characters: 4.29
- Technical: 4.14
toymaker
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
The writing style was good; I liked the setup, but I'm not a big "shrinking man" fan. In fact, it kind of put me off of the story entirely. That, and I got a little confused with what was going on when the second girl showed up. But I'm the only one so far who didn't really like it, and like I said, it's not really my thing, so keep working what you got.
This is Me
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Phenomenal. I normally don't keep these stories downloaded on my computer, but this one's sticking around on my disk.
Your Nickname
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
Blamandude
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
AAAAAAH You just had to stop it there! Definetley my type of story, Im praying you write more!!
TehDewd
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Excellent story. As has already been said, don't stop. I can't wait to read the next part!
bear chives
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
this was really great. your ideas here were excellent. The main thing i'd offer is that your physical descriptions are a bit confusing, so i'm not sure exactly what's happening sometimes. With a shrunken man story, (which i love) it's important to be clear about exactly the guy is in relation to the woman, since the situation is so outside our everyday experience (at least for most guys i know ;)
but yea, this story did an excellent job of getting the reader exactly where he wants to be: in a boob sandwich.
Stretch
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Don't you dare stop, my friend. This is an excellent read. The playfulness of the girls, the situation and desciptions are wonderfull.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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