The Overflowing Bra

PLEASE use the bloody spellchecker. As people say, use the forums or what have you. Give charaters depth. And for god's sakes. Buy yourself Word Blaster and crack at it for a few weeks.
If the spelling and grammar were proper, this work, with a little more substance, could be a good short, to the point story. But as it stands, my god it's awful.

Just stop.

Sharuka, please join the forum and ask for help with your stories. You're driving people crazy because you are not editing your work.

Horrible Grammar, and Punctuation.

Wish whoever is posting these would stop!
Throwing a couple of paragraphs (if you can call them paragraphs) together and calling it a chapter/story doesn't make it one.  
Grammer is horrible (and not just talking about spelling).
Author has MUCH to learn in the art of story telling and should be seeking feedback in the forums by posting there first. 
Obviously the author isn't looking at the feedback here.
These should be nuked from the library.   

I understand that my spelling is not good , and that my story is to rushed but I am more used to writeing poetry and will try to be better at this in the future. And thank you to anyone who liked this

Technical errors ruin all the rest for me. Story is too rushed. Same as other efforts by this author. Will probably avoid this author in the future: three incomprehensible stories with events at breakneck speed is enough to confirm my distaste.

Ok...  there's no way I can be constructive and criticize this.  Enough said.

Please spell check at least, some people have already posted their issues with the spelling, it should be taken to heart, sooner or later people aren't going to download your stories because of your lack of commitment to spell checking, and grammar errors. 
If you have noticed, your downloads during this comment, went from over 900 in the first posting, to under 100 so far... take that as an indication, you need to work on something basic. 

The comments for your first episode file all apply to this installment. Please work on spelling. From what I can see, your spelling problems appear because your trying to spell words as they sound, not as how they would appear in a dictionary. At a minimum, you need to run a spell check utility. Spelling errors as abundant and obvious as exemplified in the last two stories will defeat all but the most avid BE fans, so readers will not appreciate your passion for delivering reading material. Please improve by seeking some sort of help. Writing more of the same and not learning anything new does not count.