Jessica's made a deal with Marcus in order to free her friend Alicia. Unfortunately, it's a very bad deal.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.80
- BE: 3.90
- Characters: 3.60
- Technical: 4.25
Befu
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Futaman
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
great story hope you write more
QWERTY
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
G
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
P. Ovidius Naso
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
I would have appreciated some more warning about how bad this story was going to get.
The characters are paper-thin: the women don't have much of any personality besides "helpless victim," and the sadistic tormentor is a stereotype from far too many BE stories. I found a lot of the descriptions more horrific than erotic and others just absurd, though your grammar and spelling were good.
Lburns
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Very impressive, incredible writing style, immensely descriptive scenes, very nice story. Can't wait to see what else you have for us. :)
Macy
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I enjoyed the story as, from what I normally read, it was something different. I saw the AG tag and was happy, but unless it wasn't actually described (I'm assuming it wasn't, offstage), than I kinda missed it :\
Either way it was still a great story :)
Cassius
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I liked it, very enjoyable to read. PDF formating was nice, could see how many pages i had left etc without messing with settings.
overall great story
Moof
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
The story wasn't bad, but why on earth did the author need to use pdf for a plain text story? Maybe he wanted us to read all the personal data stored in the file header?
BEman
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Very nicely done, I liked this story alot. I'll be keeping an eye out for future posting from ya.
Booby
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
That was fantastic. I look forward to more :D
Pietor
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I gave you a good score because of the quality of writing and attention to detail. However, I coulden't get through it, it was way too "out there" for me.
GenericName
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Requesting reupload in either TXT or HTML format.
katheb
Overall= 1, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 5
the story is great in the Technical sence but
i didnt like it the idea of sex slaves is not what i like at all .
lava
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Good story. The general concept and some descriptions were a little dark for me, hence some 4 ratings.
However nice and innovative, I'll definitely be looking out for more!
TheEggman
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
Excellent story. The ending caught me completely off-guard, but being a fan of TG/TF/Weird-type stories, I found it extremely erotic. Would love to see more (though perhaps a touch less dark).
Pillager
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
I dub you the Max Hardcore of BE stories.
This is the only story I've ever read on this site, that didn't arouse me.
photogdal
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Enjoyed it very much. Much different than most stories I read/
Zych
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Kanodin
Overall= 3, BE= 5, Characters= 2, Technical= 5
Where is the side of good? Just so you know, Marcus has distorted and depraved concepts of agreement and promise. Also, please remember that Marcus does 'kill' (destroy) both Jessica and Alicia, despite his denial of being a murderer. When you create a main character who absolutely dominates others like Marcus does, there really is no meaningful conflict. All you have is a controlling individual with enabling technology and unfortunate victims who cannot do anything but kowtow to manipulations created by a deplorable antagonist. That does not make a story memorable.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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