Ryan tries to use his powers to improve the lives of others, but someone finds out she can "improve" herself all she wants.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.67
- BE: 4.33
- Characters: 4.53
- Technical: 4.67
Sucker4Boobs
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Love this story! I loved your advanced diction, the believable characters, and the BE descriptions were so vivid. Just the fact that Gina wanted to be pregnant was a slight turn-on for me. I also liked the sci-fi feel that you put into it, in regards to Ryan. You really set the standard.
whingnut
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Amazing. I think that this is probably one of my favorite series
Adversary
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I truly enjoyed this story--even though the BE came in late, the quality was enough to make up for the tardiness.
Let's just say that I sincerely hope there will be a part two.
Don
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Good storywriting. Looking forward to reading more.
Anonymous
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
This was actually a story with a real plot! From that end, my only suggestion would be to make the supporting characters less two-dimensional. I realize that on a site like this, characterization takes the last seat on the bus, but I sense you want to write better than this site demands. Good luck with your writing overall.
Stretch
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
VERY nice start. I look forward to part 2!
Katheb
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Incredible
Very good story Flow and the description was great .
just a little hard to read paragraphes were to large
over all great story Part 2 must arrive ! *sits n waits*
DarkHeart
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
A solidly written story that was enjoyable to read, the characters had substance and was much more than the typical "girl gets big boobs and fucked" that you see so often.
deux_anges
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
Good stuff. I agree with DarkHeart, nice to read some characters with depth.
Dylan
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Very good story, hope to see more of the same characters.
Dinner
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
A masterpiece of... college dorm fridge proportions? lol ...I can't even begin to explain how well the author played the characters' psychological keys. It's so rare to see a piece so well-written that its illogical attributes seem totally logical. Just... wow. The first time, earlier, I didn't quite grasp why the BE was so late in the piece until I read it a second time. The best authors play on (with?) their readers' mindsets. Very well done!
Farsan
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
A very good story. Very credible characters, good plot, nice tempo... Keep up the good work!
nobody
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I don't have much to add to DarkHeart's comments and the rest...I have to say that this story straddles a very difficult line that not many do - it successfully blends character development and smut in a very short space. Typically you have to either give up character depth, a big chunk of fucking, or brevity. This story balanced everything very neatly and a lot of authors (myself included) could benefit from checking out how it was done closely. Great work.
Benji Dude
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Great story this author is a credit to the community, can't wait for the next part!
Toymaker
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
Very enjoyable. The philanthropic psionic is an interesting idea, and the way that his powers interact with the opposite sex is a similarly innovative twist. I'm off to read the next installment.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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