Chapter 8 of the series by Eduardo Corbicula
Average Scores:
- Overall: 2.73
- BE: 2.64
- Characters: 2.73
- Technical: 2.45
Wood Eyewear
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I read online (computer problems) positive feedback about your resource. Didnt even believe it, and now saw myself. It turned out that I was not fooled!...
Delivery Service
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
Informative, but not convincing. Something is missing but what I can not understand. But I will say frankly: bright and benevolent thoughts!...
Trading Penny Stocks
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
This article is for professionals..!
water slide jumper
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
I would add something else, of course, but in fact almost everything is mentioned!...
cocoa bean
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Good day! I do not see the conditions of using the information. May I copy the text from here on my site if you leave a link to this page?!...
Cobalt Accessories
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
Uh, well, explain me a please, I am not quite in the subject, how can it be?!...
Shaving Products For Men
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
Thanks for the news! Just was thinking about it! By the way Happy New Year to all of you:D
wedding photography montreal
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
Author, Shoot yourself a knee..!
duffdog
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 1
The wieght gain/BBW theme is not in the original vein of the Janet's milk stories, so that kind of ruined it for me. The story line is very creative and was probably enjoyed by many who are into the stories involving fat/wieght gain/bbw etc.
SMAP
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Quick comments 'cause it's late:
I haven't finished reading through all the new chapters yet, but you definately need to take more time to do some basic proofreading. Your spelling seems to be pretty decent and I haven't noticed any glaring grammar errors but you don't break paragraphs after each speak, which leaves large blocks of difficult-to-read text. There are a few issues with sentance construction as well (things sometimes sound a bit awkward), but overall you just need to do some reformatting for readability and you'll have a very good story.
Oh, right. BBW isn't my cup of tea, whatever.
massageboy
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
RE: Chapter 9 - "Delivery Boy"
This sure was a cataclysmic event for Eddie which really peaked my interest (and his, as well I'm sure). Would like to see you re-intruduce this characyer in upcoming chapters. Did Janet's milk have any physical effects on him? Would be interesting and worth reading.
Janet's "weight-gain" issue sort of side-tracked from the original theme of the story and was a personal turn-off. Also, the Lisa/Daphne issue....did you have to introduce that lind of stuff?
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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