The Overflowing Bra

The story sucked. Is this supposed to get us to feel like hooking up our credit cards to your billing service?
P.S. No thanks for the ads. I don't especially feel like paying for your new XBox 360 this week, asshole.

Can I please protest the use of the bearchive for promoting pay4porn sites?

Seriously, if they wanna post this type of shit, they should have to pay to run ads. Other than that, just delete it, please.

Seriously get this ad crap out of here. I had a membership for like a day and I realized most of the content isn't organized and there are dozens of bad links. 
Thus Bearchive is crap! Either the owner needs to realize that they need to get some new stuff or at least more than 3 people that update once a month.

Guys, mellow. Rate the story on its merits or don’t bother. BE
archive also just did a massive reorganization, Wisdom Tooth. You might want to
take another look.
 
Overall
The main objective of this story is to entertain and inspire
the reader to sign up. With those criteria in mind, it fails. Now, the Story
Club doesn’t want to blow its wad and hand out the really good stuff for free,
but, based on this fragment, I wouldn’t pay. The Dream Girl chapter or
Kitty-Cat Club story listed as Free at the Story club would have been much
better picks.
BE
The BE is described entirely in cup sizes and as a warmth in
her breasts. This is a fragment, so I have to cut a little slack here. Still,
it’s pretty sad and probably isn’t going to attract any BE aficionados.
Characters
Cardboard cut-outs. The bitchy girl we all love to hate, the
inattentive counter person, and the lucky young man. Frankly, there isn’t
enough meat here to get any character insight other than that the bitchy girl
is just too damn stupid to be allowed to continue breathing. God willing, she’ll
get through the story a virgin. I’d hate for her to contribute even to a
fictional gene pool.
Technical
The spelling is fine, but the grammar is loose when it comes
to commas. Case in point: the first sentence. Never screw up the first
sentence.
Shelly woke up, and was relieved that her t-shirt was
loose again on her. Let’s break that down and take a look at what went
wrong. Shelly woke up makes a fine independent clause. [Was] relieved
that her t-shirt was loose again on her lacks a subject, dooming it to a dependent
roll. An independent clause is mated to a dependent clause with a conjunction,
in this case and, so it does not need a comma. You use the comma when joining
independent clauses with a conjunction (as was done in the preceding sentence).
A few sentences later Shelly figured that she had better go bra shopping so
she wouldn’t be nipping out and bouncing around all of the time. There are two
independent clauses being joined this time, so this sentence needs a comma
before so.
The writer is obviously using the old drop-a-comma-where-you-would-pause
rule. Unfortunately, that rule doesn’t work all the time, so it frequently trips
the writer up. A comma is not a pause; a semicolon is a pause. It’s just not as
big a pause as a period, and, like a period, the semicolon must be used in the correct
places.
On the pickier front, all of the non dialogue paragraphs
start with Shelly. This needs to be mixed up a bit. The writer also
needs to watch out for passive tone—too much was.

I don't know where to start...  Honestly I'm just amazed that someone had the temerity to post this here.  If it was sanctioned, well...I'm amazed just the same.  
BE Archive is horrendously disorganised as mentioned already.  I joined once, it rates pretty low on "Overall Enjoyment" and "Technical Quality."
Similarly, the story archive gets updated about once every 3 weeks.  That's twice a month on a good month.  I know it takes a while to illustrate and colour, but eh...there's about 5 pictures in each story.  Even given a generous amount of time for each drawing in CS or something similar, that's just lazy.  You'd think they'd just hire someone full time with the money they're extorting.  I'd rather just donate via paypal straight to the ToB for bnadwidth costs, or the authors to promote their work and just keep them writing.
I could go on but it would consist mostly of swearing and general profanity...

An adequate but nothing-special ad. Ho hum.

Meh. Been there, done that. I signed up before and have sinced unsubscribed. This makes me wonder, will more ads follow? I don't think I'd like it if this archive began to fill up with 'teasers' and 'ads'. This submission could even be sanctioned by the admin of this site for all I know. But I was under the impression this was a story site. I'd rather the story fragments in this archive be unfinished works as they've always been rather than intentional teasers, but then I don't run the world and I don't matter that much.  
I don't mind submissions like this, yet. If one starts to get dropped here everytime the story club releases something then I might get irked. The BE Story Club already has The Plume, and can put as many of its commercials there as it wants. Let it be there that people follow the dollar. As far as I know, this place has always been a free joint to read and casually upload actual stories not meant to draw profit. It's about sharing, not business. Again, "I" think that.
There must be somewhere left in this world not used to hock someones product. Maybe I should start a site. I'd pay the money for bandwidth, because I'd probably have just wasted it on porn anyway. 

Hey guys, owner/developer/everything here. It seems that I've stirred up a bit of contriversy with this. I can address these issues better here

The grammar wasn't too terribly distracting (although after helping edit papers tonight nothing else would seem too awful). And I did rather like the illustrations included. Overall it was a pretty good story (I'm a member of the club), certainly not the best or worst ever, and since said story was submitted in conjuction with another that month I was nonplussed.

If you are going to put a story on here, don't put one that is not complete unless you don’t have time to finish it, and you think it is worth it. Is this turning into a spam site?

Having read the background on this piece, and the other reviews, I will say this. I think that the story was well executed, with passable grammar and good spelling. The illustration was good, and a nice touch. However, the story didn't give any basis for what was going on until the end, when (if it hadn't been announced in the title) a very basic plot synapsis was made. Overall, it was too short and jolting to be very enjoyable with brief numeric non-descript BE and cookie cutter characters. Bill Pratt learned both of us a few things about commas, so I won't even go there (Thanks Bill).

If I want to be teased, I have a girlfriend for that. I come here for stories. Full stories.

This "story" should be deleted and the submitter banned. Ad spam does not belong in a story archive. Furthermore, I will never pay bearchive for anything at all.. ever because of it.

Please, please, please don't turn this the typical porn link-whore site! This is the last vestigate of quality, no-hassle, erotica in my bookmarks folder. If money is getting tight, add a paypal "tip bucket"  . I'd be happy to help subsidize the site if it meant keeping all the "click here!" "go here!" "buy this!" garbage away...

**PLONK**
Oh well. Adspamming is only for the desperate, juvenile or the truly misguided. I think BEArchive just about qualifies for all of them - and more.

Without Mr. HHH's name on this, it looks like a guilt trip by another site using this site as leverage to get us to pay money. I appreciate free content and this site. I've supported it by using the banners here long before this ad came around, but I shouldn't have to feel guilty for it, or have to read about the 'people are freeloaders' attitude/stereotype that persists on your forum thread there. If this ad's origin/creator had been clearly specified, I don't think anyone would have complained, or have had any good mind to. 

for the dishonourly, You are all a bunch of penises lalalalalalalalalala, so what if he's making a pay4porn ad? good luck to him i say, not like your parting with your cash if he does get money from this advert, besides theres hardly any other adverts on overflowingbra, count yourself lucky wiseguys.