The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Story of Jane
Dark BE story with violence, robbery, rape, gunfights, revenge and obsession. I don't know what to say, honestly.
Average Scores:

Daniel B
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

This is what inspired me to try my hand at writing BE. I adore the dark futuristic setting, and absolutely find the sharp divide believable and well reasoned. It fit the trope of how the poor might be exploited by technological advancement in the future.

The characterization would be considered well done in a trade paperback, and was absolutely phenomenal for B.E. story. There was an occasional peculiar turn of phrase and grammatical issue, but it hardly detracted from the enjoyment.

While it was dark, it never excuses the atrocities committed and has a sense of moral depth most "dark" B.E. ignores. Well done all around.

Very Free
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Some grammar and punctuation errors. I didn't like the first non-ending, nor the second alternate ending. And I didn't like the idea of having her enemy in the sights of her gun and then releasing her. All too easy. But I loved the overall sci fi setting, the futuristic stuff. Just that it bothers me that so much technical advances were made, yet some of the society had regressed to uncivilized living. Or more like why was there such a big divide between the haves and the have-nots. But then I guess that was the author's choice.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Ooh, I like this one. Nice and scary. I love forced transformations. Great job!

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

This was disturbing, but very well written, hope to see more from you in the future, though hopefully not as dark.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

absolutely wonderful-- its about time someone thought about some character development and added irony to their stories. Write more, many will love it!

Overall= 2, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Definitely not my cup of tea, but I can appreciate an effort.

You had a couple of small technical issues, nothing major. I felt the style was very descriptive, but it felt a little overdone in parts.

Characterization was very good. Motivations for characters... shocking in this day and age.

The BE wasn't stellar, but solid. It did seem as though you felt there wasn't enough instances, so when there was BE, it was both expressive, and to great size. But again, just a tad overdone in places.

Good on most aspects, I just didn't 'enjoy' the story because for the most part it really didn't follow my personal preferences. Not that every story has to be written how I like it... but if I don't, I can't honestly give it a good overall score. You can't please everybody all of the time. *shrug*

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Wow, I thought it was fantastic. I don't think she needed to grow an extra pair, but overall it's a great short story. Good sci-fi. A plot even!

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5


Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I thought that your story was original in it's plot (and the fact that it had a developed plot wasgood too!) and that you did an excelent job of describing the charecters. A few minor technical issues (however, since when do we have some one to edit our copy? Not often before publishing I tell you!) were all that marred it, and it was minor marring so don't worry about it. I like happier endings my self, but as some one above said, irony is a rare thing in these parts, and you have a good grasp of it. Keep writing!

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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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