The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Mister Grey
Skies of an Alternate Arcadia, Part 2
Part two of a series. Aika & Fina decide to give Vyse a present, making his current sex-partner Belleza even more sezy (& busty)
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

An adequate stroke story, although there's not much transformation in this one. Only someone who really knew Skies of Arcadia (and who could buy the setup - even the setup before the events of the prequel) will really get into the characters.

The great charm of that game was that the characters were so fun. And so I really don't think it's ripe for a translation to a stroke story where the characters are secondary to the sex. You really need to go into great detail on the characters, let us see them in non-sexual situations, how they deal with each other (and maybe how the freakin' admiral got to be Vyse's sex slave???) if you want this to be an effective fic.

When you've got magic flying around the setting, you should go more overboard on the transformations! Although this is much better by the end of the story.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

I enjoyed the story very much, however the large number of typos made it hard to read. There are many misspellings, words out of place, syntax errors, and general grammatical errors. Many of these could be caught in a single proofread. Other than that, I thought it was a fun story that could and should be continued and developed. The physical changes should definitely be developed and expanded. (You can’t say she can deep throat a cock that’s too big to hold with two hands, without describing that for us!!!) :-)

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

I really like the stories and look forward to another installment. The editing isn't perfect, but much better than many other stories around here. Perhaps the admiral's new stature will bring about a new attitude?

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Belleza is a sexy lady. Now you just need to mess with Moegi and Clara.

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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