Jane is taking a chamical which makes her boobs grow, but it seems to be working a little too well.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.20
- BE: 3.00
- Characters: 3.60
- Technical: 3.20
tstar
Overall= 2, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
n
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
oxomox
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I have a pile of stories I've written for myself which I've never published. I only put 10 up today. They aren't perfect but I welcome feedback on improvements I can make to them.
nobody much
Overall= 2, BE= 1, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
This story is told almost entirely in dialogue. That can be an interesting choice and can be effective. However, this dialogue is not very evocative. One of the people speaking never really says much of anything except making occasional exclamations and interjections. There was some attempt at character development for the female lead in the beginning but it basically ended after the first section.
In order for this to be a good character piece, the dialogue will have to be reworked significantly. In order to be a good "growth only" piece, you'll have to abandon the plan of dialogue-only presentation. We'll need to know how she looks, feels, and acts as the growth progresses.
This piece needs a lot of work before it is ready for prime-time.
nickname
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
oxomox, I like the stories you posted. Please put up some more. My comment on the stories themselves is that they are inventive and enjoyable, but the BE description is very brief. The stories are short, so that is to be expected somewhat.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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