The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Inkwell
Growing Up After College
Sequal to Growing Up at College.
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Hmmm, a little bit trite. Then this happened, and then that, and then... I think it was mostly your writing style that put me off. There were some inconsistencies with your characters i.e. when she started lactating surely she knew she was pregnant, as she reveals the father at the end of the story... Your work could be really good if you took a more time to redraft and edit it. As it is now, it just doesn't sit right with me.

Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

I have to agree, i mean it was good, but to much wiffling going on,

Benji Dude
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

Daunte has rated this story to a T , I noticed a lot of grammar mistakes as well, definatly needs either a re-write or an in-depth proof read. I was a little let down towards the end with the utterly rediculas sizes of the characters, don't get me wrong I'm all for unrealistic sizes (I wouldn't be here otherwise) but even so the sizes in the story were just too large to be believeable.

Quit now, while there's still time
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Good god, don't they at least teach people how to use a spell checker or a grammar checker in middle school?

That aside, the story itself is not original and the characters are morons.

Do yourself a favor and try another hobby, like gardening.

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

Have to agree with Benji and Daunte, you really need to work on your writing style and the sizes. In my case it wasn't the size of the breast growth so much as how ridiculously tall everyone grew, especially without repercussion!
My suggestion is to find someone willing to do proofreading for you, go to the BEA forums if you don't know anyone. I'm sure someone there would be willing to help.

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Can tell the writer is a short guy and likes tall women, hence the growth fetish on an unimaginable scale. The cup size changes was rediculous and the jumping around to diff thoughts was hard to understand at best. Re-write this and spend some time on it and it could be something decent.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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