The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Superweapon (Part 1 & 2)
 It's 2015. A fictional earthly continent discovered in the 1800s has changed the history of the world. Now, a third world war has broken out. Follow a group of soldiers as they attempt to foil a secret plan before it's too late.
 This contains Part 1(Intro, no BE) and Part 2(The first real BE). I still recommend you read Part 1 for a description of the world and a good-sized backstory.
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

A good start, but the "backstory" reads more like a Role-Playing/Diplomacy/Axis & Allies setup. Take that creativity and make up a set of rules for a BE roleplaying game system! Unfortunatly, the complex political and military situation detracted from the BE elements, such as they were.

Jeff Goldblum
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

I have to agree with the post before mine. The backstory here is amazingly well done. Reads very much like a modern role-playing campaign. Even though I'm sure many people here will enjoy an in depth backstory (with all the sketchy ones we see), your talent is probably going to waste here. Definatly write more non-BE fiction, that is, if you don't already. Hopefully I'll see some of your work in other places, as well as here.

Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 2

this site is for hot be stories, not military stories.

Benji Dude
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

It's pretty good, a little wordy perhaps. Looking forward to the next part. Oh and thanks for mentioning my work in the story.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Great background and detail all through you work. I would really like to see the next installment. It looks like you're really building up to something good!

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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