Two girls piss off a wizard and things start to grow out of control
True, a lot of spelling errors. Nothing autocorrect won't fix. This story gave me more ideas and sparked my imagination more than anything.
not descriptive enough to make it sexy.
The premise is better than the story. The characters are unlikable. You really need to work on grammer and spelling; but, unlikable doesn't mean uninteresting. You have a good idea here. I like the "Harry Potter" reference. The fate of the two girls opens interesting possibilities. You should develop.
I loved this story. Sure, there are plenty of writing errors and grammer errors but the premise was excellent. Maybe next time you could add more descriptions such as breast size and a little more plot development. But This is a great story! Second favorite on the whole site!
Nerd dream. Nerd gets powers, uses them on girls who tormented him in high school (and who still act the same way in college? Ugh!) Didn't like the characters at all.
Nerd gets power and does things that are CONSIDERABLY more vile than anything that could have been done to him.
UGH!!
Story could use some serious work, both as proofreading, and in plot development. The ending REALLY needs work.
Not bad really
The idea is kinda cliche and the story a little rushed and probably needed some more characterisation.
The idea of getting bitter rivals to become friends is good and the means of doing this was explained OK enough to be enjoyable. I guess you should not mess with Harry Potter then.
For god's sake. Learn to spell!
Not a bad story but not great either. The discription of the girls breast size was lacking I felt.