The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Bigby Wolfe
The Five-and-Dime Shop: Fantasy Juice
Daniel gets his girlfriend Sheryl a present for her birthday that with turn Fantasy to Reality.
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Good overall, a nice universe

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Like the concept, good setup but the rest moved too fast. It just started getting good and then it was over. Lots of promise, just needs fleshed out.

Benji Dude
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Well written but like D said it finished just as it was getting good, maybe the transformations could be "fleshed" out more. Or even have them drink the whole bottle and have multiple changes throughout the story.

On a side note I still no reason why this series of stories could not be SRU.

Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

The technical quality was quite good, however the rest seemed lacking. It felt like you had the same man and woman, only with different names and different means of getting the "liquid" consumed. More detail and less of a rush to get done, as well as some sort of distinction between different chars would help a great deal.

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

Not a bad story, probably better than the last one. The characters were a bit flat though, and it seemed a bit rushed.

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

Your idea was okay. However the charcters seemed a bit flat. Maybe that could have been brought out a little more on the decision of fantasy.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Could have used more detail, but a good read.

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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