The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Byzogiz
Disproportionate
A genius Southern Belle accidentally becomes the subject of an experiment. Written as a screenplay.
Average Scores:

grandsin
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

a good start please continue it

HeliumGirl
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Please continue this story.

Jokester
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Very nice I like it.

Satern
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

i think alot of ppl said it best....this story rocked socks, cant wait ta see the next one......but STOP TAKING SO LONG TA MAKE ANOTHER!!!!....and if your not then let us no so we wont be on our toes so long!

L33t
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

MAKE ANOTHER ONE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shelby
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Overall a good story as said before the script format is kind of confusing (just my opinion). I know its comming this one has to turn out to be a three parter as in #2 is when the virus is lost into the public (mabey). #3 is when they find a vaccine for it all both versions (mabey???). In the future please will you make two versions one like the script and another like a normal word doc. please.

MichiganMort
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

EXCELLENT story! I really hope you continue it. The screenplay style works very well, and the writing is top-notch, despite the semi-cliche "girl accidently injected with boob-growth formula" plot.
BE is also done very well, but I give it a 4 because the story needs to be continued.
The characters are well done, and Tiffany has just the right amount of description to let the reader maximize sezziness by filling in personal choice of eye color, height, etc. in their imagination.

DarkHeart
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

This was awesome, please write more!

If only more of the stories had your quality.

andrat2000
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 1

Too short, inclomplete story. Why nowadays can't people complete their stories? If it is incomplete why post it? Do you deliver incomplete work in your job? I guess no, why here? The BE scene is incomplete, too. But at least a little better than some others: "bang here are the big tits"

Grey Deth
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I hope you ignore the first rant. I will admit its short and incomplete, but you do say you want to continue. I sure hope you do because I greatly enjoyed it. You did a good job of describing her going through the change (though wish for a bit more detail) and it was definitely seuxally charged. I can't wait for the next chapters (especially since its viral....who else could get infected?). HMMMMM... :D

PeterBE
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

A very good start. Definitely should be continued. Would like to see more detail and length to the key scenes, along the same lines of what you are doing (what's there is good, would like to see more). Love the plot and method. It just needs more detail. Keep it up!

TerribleTed
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

please write more.

brit
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

You are a god, shakespere of the genre.

poltergeist378
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Great story. Short and sweet build up. Could have let the climactic (for Act 1, anyway) last a little longer. Over all though, I really enjoyed the story. Can hardly wait for the next Act! :)

Juke-Box
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Very well written, spelling and grammar good. Characters are nice. Was predictable though, but very entertaining. Not too long, not too short, perfect!
I eagerly await the rest of it.

Daunte
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

I wasn't sure at first, with the screenplay style, but it turned out good! The pace and writing was fluid and the pace picked up where it counts, which is what usually lets most stories down. Would love to have an ending to the story soon!

Benji Dude
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Great layout, just needs to add camera shots and it's there. However if you end the next part so soon and abruptly I'll kill you! ;) Can't wait for the next part!

Nards
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Not quite sure about the film script format, but an intriguing start nonetheless.

Hell-scythe
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Nice start. Would have liked to see a longer chapter. The script style is a bit odd, but not that bad. I really like your content. Continue the good work, I'm curisous where it is going next.

basil_jelly
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

A very good start! BUT barely a start.

DarkPhoenix
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Not keen on Script Style personally but I do not hold that against you. Will be eagerly awaiting the rest

SMAP
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

Nice- I'm not a big fan of script style, though I've used it on occasion myself, but that aside, it's fairly well written. Woulda been better if it was longer, blah blah blah... Hoping you write a sequel or three.

beanking
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Who's gonna be victim/recipcant in the next chapter.

Big Pete
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Great beginning. Can't wait to see more.

n0_0ne
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Good work. Wish it was longer though. Can't wait for the sequel.

Rasputin
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 1

I love the story, but I'm not wild about the screenplay format, and it was a very short bit. More, more, more!

Bob
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Awesome! Can't wait for the sequel(s?).

ahaarmehearties!
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

One of my favourites, please continue it. I'm eagerly awaiting a sequel. Quality Stuff!

1R2I3C4K
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

GREAT STORY!!!!! format was kinda weird, wish it was alot longer, cant wait for sequel!!!

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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