The Overflowing Bra

You're very good at describing the relationship between a young girl and her growing breasts. The one-on-one relationship, you know?

I thought your story was nicely put together it keept me reading untill the end. Perhaps some trials & tribulations could have been introduced to give the story more punch but enjoyed how you developed the character sorry no pun intended

Great writing ability - haven't grasped the BE thing very well but still quite good. Assume that everyone that hasn't commented didn't like it.

One of the very best on whole TOB~

I really Liked this story.  Great characters, great fun, nice message.  I agree with most comments about the lack of description of the breasts.  It could have used more Of it!  

wow, cry more about the comments

Excellent Story

Nicely done

I think there should be more stories where the woman is the force behind the story, instead of something that has things happen to her. The pictures were a nice touch, but a little on the small side. There's something missing, but I can't put my finger on what it is.

Overall the story was great for the genre.  I would have liked longer BE description as that seemed to be overall a small part of the story even though the story revolved around growing breasts.  Also, more tie-in between the effect of their love on the BE would be a great addition.  Only the last BE scene had a hint between their feelings and the growth.
Besides a desire for more BE description, the story lacked nothing.  Believable characters make the fantasy more realistic.  I suppose if I could ask for a re-write I would end with a passionate love/sex scene.
Concerning ratings for "Darby"...if the people that rate a story say exactly what the other 2,193 people would have written, they won't bother you with "Yeah, what he said".  The sheer number of downloads is validation in itself.  Personally, I thought the BE was fantastic but I had the same discomfort about the age of the characters.
Write more stories and know that others will enjoy them even if the praise seems insignificant.

Well done - I thought the story showed believable characters who experienced BE, not BE with names attached.  

I liked the story immensely.  The characters were well-drawn and interesting.  I thought that keeping the reason for the BE to the end added a sense of mystery to work. 

Great work, keep them coming!  The only flaw with these stories is not enough description of the breats nor their growth.  The growth happens too quickly and then not at all for many paragraphs.  It'd be nice if we got more about how she was adjusting to them (knocking things over, for example), the affect on her clothing in REAL TIME as opposed to "look I need a new bra".  Have the character try to hide the growth...  Its good for the growth to be consentual, EVENTUALLY, but initially its more fun if things are out of the woman's control (or seem to be.)

really a good story... a lot better compared to the last stories i have seen recently.

I liked it... Why, it was a good story first, and a BE tale second. All the BE is nice in a story, but a good story needs to tell about people first, a women's breasts aren't the only part of her. And a good story needs to tell about the people too. And this one did. Which made me root for heroes, hiss for the bad guy (in this case gal.) 

Excellent.  Good character development, well-written, an actual plot and good twists.  Personally, I prefer more description, but this is head and shoulders above the usual fare

Wow, nice job this is just the type of BE story that I like. Thank you for writing it.

I rather liked the story overall but I found the antagonistic female character to be a little over the top. Beyond the entirety of that character I found it to rather well written, though the format was a little odd, too many spaces between "paragraphs" if could call them that.

This was one of the best BE stories I have read in a while. Good movement, and a real plot for once that centered around the charecters  rather than when the next growth squence would happen. The visual aids were nice (if small) and something I havn't seen in a story as such before. I think it was refreshing that the main charecter was smart and in control of what was happening to her the whole time. It's my feeling that the BE sequences could have been described better if the growth had been slowed down some, but the way you portrayed it was consistant, which is what really matters. Your continuity was very good as well. Please keep writing, as I look forward to more of your work. Thanks!

One of the best for a while!

Nicely done. I echo other positive comments on the wonderful lead character development with a female protagonist who enjoys the BE as opposed to having it inflicted --- very refreshing. Only minor nitpicks were the more two-dimensional (but only in contrast) female antagonist and BE which could have been (even) more drawn out. Kudos though --- please keep writing. Good stuff.

In this excellent tale, the author, Marquis Moon, shows true prowess as an author.  That's right, a true writer of stores.  A person who can craft words together for the enjoyment of the reader -- not just so the reader enjoys the story being told, but also the warp and weft in this rich tapestry of words.  Huzzah!  

awesome

From a Womans point of view.....
It is nice to see another story where we are in control.
very well written.  I am working on a story as well.
six_time_mom1@hotmail.com
add me or write if you would ever like to compare notes.

One of the best since a long time. 

Well written and nicely descriptive.  Sometimes a little too wordy, but isn't life like that too.  Enjoyed the storey and would encourage the author to keep on writing.

I really do enjoy it when a story that has characters that are truely supportive of each other, it helps one want to read the hole story and not just skip to the "juicy" parts. it just makes it a better experince all around.

Enjoyed the story. Age progression and character growth with romance and a bit of lust are a nice change from some of the other simplier stories- tho the others are good-just different. 

Probably one of the best written stories appearing on this site in decent time.  You did a nice job developing the characters.  I would say that the story falls more in the general category of erotic fiction than the niche of BE.  If you were going for BE, than I would spend more time describing the growth as well as her physical and mental adjustments.  You did a good job with that task in the last part of the story.  It is a good story with a nice flow.

A really good story.  Rather well written.

very good

A very well written story.  Thank you for taking the time to write it.  Wont you please continue writing?

I loved the main charachter: busty and brainy. Good BE

I really enjoyed the story!  I could tell it was well thought out and you spent the time to develop the characters.  I love growth of any kind..just wished he rubbed that lotion all over her body so more than just her breasts would grow (but that's just me).  The descriptions were nice especially the last 'growth spurt' she had.  I really appreciate the effort you put into the writing of your story and I hope the responses you received inspire to continue writing because you do it well.

Another fine story. I hope we'll see a lot more stories from Marquis Moon.

This is truly one of the best stories I have read in this Archive!  Marquis Moon writes on a level comparable with Richard O. Steele, and goes far beyond in his sensitivity, emotion and real passion.  While there could certainly have been more sex, and more description of the monthly growth sessions between Kat and Jared, I thought the true climax of the story - its romantic ending - was perfect in stopping where it did and leaving much to the imagination.  The author drew us in to care about the characters, and frankly, that he made Kat a full, multi-dimensional woman made me all the more interested.  I've grown tired of the bimbo-based stories.  A real, professional, life-like and smart, assertive woman is considerably more erotic to me than a pneumatic bubble brain.  The Marquis has captured eroticism well and given it an engaging context.  Kudos and hats off!  I'm going to seek out more stories written by this author!

This is by far the best short story I have read in years!  This story could stand on its own with the BE elements removed (But Don't!!!)

A very well written Story. The author has obviously done his home work or is quite the dillitante(sp?). The love theme was very well done. Overall the story was very enjoyable to read. I think maybe it would have been a perfect BE story if it had strayed away from being a romantic comedy and dared to really examine the psychological conflics Kat had while dealing with the transformations her body had taken place and impact her new body had on her psyche. Maybe the narrator's love could have saved Kat from being destroyed by what she thought was her greatest desire. Just a suggestion.

i like shorter stories, but i guess i shoud make time to read em if i download em. well i read about half. and i liked it, A LOT. I did think there should have beeen more BE description. THANX for a good read.

Great story keep em coming my good man

Thank you

I find it especially interesting when an author can use a story to deliver an overarching message to the reader.  Not many people can charge their creative talents for that purpose over the span of a short story, let alone a vignette.  No matter how the praises go, I must remain critical of the characters in their development and performance.  Obviously, the antagonist, either through intent or accident, seems a bit too incredible; when people turn into spiteful tragedies, the story usually tells of a cause which directs that change.  However, the explanation given to show how Damarys turns into a hateful person doesn't seem to add up to a significant personality change--if it did, the 'formula' would probably have lost it's effect long before she reacher her size.  On a more minor note, it seems that the moments when Katrina communicates her intellectual forte, she seems to like rambling between some Derridean grammatology and physics.  Fortunately, the grammatical structure complimented the storytelling style very well, and the the author used the length of the story wisely (no excessive 'to be' verbs).  Overall, an excellent romanticist tale.

This story as it is is absolutly in the Top 10% of the BE stories.
Apart from what I say next the story is perfect:
I agree with the previous critics that the process of BE itself lacks a little bit. Just rubbing in lotion isn't enough for the bulk consumer. And 1-3 more pages added after the current end would make the story to a very hard competitor of my all time favourite Dr. Hooters stories. But who knows? Probably you've planned a ontinuation.
Keep on writing this sort of longer stories. There is a lack of good long stories. And stay with HTML.
Great

Not a bad story and quite an intelligent and enjoyable read.
The visual inspiration snipits are great which aid in the story character descriptions well.

Very well done. This stands on the same tier with "Sadira" in my opinion. Just like Sadira it is character driven (even if the "bad guys" are a bit over-the-top). My only complaint is that, while it is a great romance novella, it was ostensibly a BE tale and the BE scenes where brief, and few, and not particularly descriptive. It seems you have gone to the opposite extreme from "Darby" which was all fantastic description and not much else, to this which is its polar opposite. I can't wait for your next story, 'cuz once you get your proportions right, it ought to be a real masterpiece!

A good story overall. I do agree that the villian was a BIT over the top near the end, but villians are supposed to be, no? My only real complaints would be the seemingly sudden change in Moria's behavior. I realize the story hints to her being street tought but coming out like she did was kinda sudden; And finally, the background coloring. Auqa and black do not a happy eye make. :)

Its good. real good.

So far, so good. It's a nice change from the usual blow'em up and then blow them bigger.

One of the best STORIES I've read in a long time! Gave it a 3 on BE for reasons mentioned by others. But that did not detract from my overall enjoyment.

Marquis, you simply keep writing better and better stories, really elevating yours to something closer to literature than flat-out erotica. Well-developed (Ok, pun intended) characters, interesting plots, competant pacing, they all combine to have made you a favorite author of mine. Keep up the GREST work!

Nicely Done.