Part 1 of probably 2. Kinda a slow burn, so there's an outline and a table of contents if you're just here for the good stuff. Kinda went for something more 'wholesome' and 'realistic' (as much as this stuff can be, lmao). If I like how Part 2 turns out, may write a version from Olivia's perspective, lmk over on swelltales or Reddit if that's something you might want. Been lurking a while, first time uploading.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.50
- BE: 4.33
- Characters: 3.83
- Technical: 4.17
pierrot
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
yobbel
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Really nice start, looking forward to the next part! Definitely hoping to see a lot of growth.
golargo
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Loved it. Love slow burn stories. Didn't feel that slow at all.
Agree with others, some more character development would have been nice.
Can't wait for part 2!
Billdemon
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4
I very much enjoyed the story, and look forward to the next part. I feel like there is a bit much talking during sex, but overall no problems.
Alyzero
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I thought this one was very enjoyable and fun. It focused on the slow burn BE without any real extra, so didn't feel slow at all.
It could use some polish as far as story flow, the characters were kind of flat and while I can buy Olivia was supposed to talk like a childhood friend who may have been tomboyish, her dialogue came off very much like a guy speaking in several sections. Just some nitpicks, again I really liked it. Very good for a first time entry.
Wildcard
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I'm liking the setup and slow burn the story has going, looking forward to be reading the second chapter as well as reading it from a different view point.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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