The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Mitatell
Fool's Day
On a day full of mischief, Zunny visit's a lonely woman and turns her into a fairy broodmother. But they turn out to be a witch with tricks of their own to put the fairy in her place.
Average Scores:

Doki Doki
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2
The good  Slightly better than the sum of its parts just bc of how quickly it moves and the lighthearted atmosphere I really want more of that in the world tbh. Avoids tropes like unrelatable male protagonists, delayed puberty, or tired jealousy stories.

The bad  You need to spend way, way more time editing. This has terrible grammar. Also, no one is ever fleshed out as a character like, at all and the world is not really explained in any way. What little is there is very endearing, but it just needs a lot of work. Honestly, it comes off as the first draft of an amateur. 
OHBart
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Juvenile story line, horrific punctuation and grammar. Poorly punctuated stories set my teeth on edge. This was truly painful.
PurplePerry
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Your stories are always charming and have fun transformations. This one could have used better descriptions, but that's my only main critique. Keep it up. You're one of the more special writers on here.
Mrmanandu
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4
A very whimsical story. I like how lighthearted it was but it also felt completely unreal. I had a hard time connecting with what was going on because there were no rules of this universe established, and our world's rules certainly didn't apply.

The other grip I had is that there was an awful lot of talk about growing bigger but not a lot of talk about how big they were. Like it was all relative besides a few mentions of 'watermelons' and their clothes breaking which again, means nothing if I don't understand these clothes
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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