Cara got a promotion at work, and to congratulate her, James bought her some workout pills to help her fulfill her fantasies. However, they didn't realize just how effective - or addictive - the pills would be...
I'm a first time writer, and this is part one of what I hope will be a short but enjoyable series. Thanks for reading!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.67
- BE: 4.50
- Characters: 4.50
- Technical: 5.00
TravestyAngel
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Loved the slow progression, and all of the expansion. Especially enjoying the addiction elements where she wants to keep going despite having reservations that it might be a bad idea. Please write more!
JtheS
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great start. In more ways than one. I enjoy reading author's first try at the genre. It makes me want to stop being lazy and finally give it a shot myself. This one might actually make it happen. I like your choice of catalyst and the way you've worked in both fast and slow growth is a nice feature. Looking forward to reading more.
OM NOM NOM
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Very good! Would love to read more from you.
Excellent
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Really hope you keep writing, your pacing and descriptions are top notch.
Roid Abuser
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Very fun.
Now have him take some Himbuilder and have them break the bed!
Bummyjim
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
If you hadn't said first time writer I wouldn't have guess as much! Great job and keep up the good work.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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