The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Athseef
feeshta@gmail.com
The "Cure" - Re-Imagined Ending
This is a re-release of an old story, with a new ending.  I always felt like I probably could have done something better with the ending to the only story I have ever written.  At the time, I was just ready to be done.  Now I had a little spare time, and returned to it.  The ending is different now, with a bit more growth sequences.  Hopefully someone will enjoy it.  Any feedback is appreciated.  It's also posted on my deviantart page if commenting there is easier.  
Average Scores:

Merkava IV
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
This was really, really good.rnrnI appreciated the fact that the characters Particularly Jenny were both consistent, but at the same time came to grips with and eventually embraced her changes. Very well done sir.rnrnThe story was compelling enough that I read it nonstop.rnrnThe only gripe I have was some minor spelling and grammar stuff. Nothing major, but something that a solid proof reader should catch. Still, considering what I have written, this is fine!rnrnGreat work, and please write more.
brit
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Just perfect
Epic
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Happy to see this gem improved!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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