The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Seaside Sugar Rush
A day at the beach proves to be more eventful than a petite scientist anticipated. More sweet-induced shenanigans lurk within a mysterious substance.
Average Scores:

Giant Fuzzy Pig
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
A lot of this works, especially the BE.  There's some very good potential for future installments and the story hits a lot of things people like.  It's mostly just Alex doing stuff, little interaction with Nicole, but that's not necessarily bad.

I have to agree about the spelling and grammar mistakes a previous poster mentioned grew taught for grew taut on page 19, of a bit sooner than expected on page 14, etcetera.  These always activate my editor brain and take me out of enjoying the story.  I am not sure how people do edits reviews here, but I'm sure that if you ask, someone will offer to help.
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3
A nice second installment from this author, however I did notice some disjointed sentences and grammar in the story. If you want other people to proofread your stories just put a comment in this rating section.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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