The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Flourish Overdose Reaction Trials : Human Experiments B:00-85
The silly story of Dr. Hughbert G. Wood and Naomi A. Lotte as the doctor tests the overdose ramifications of his newly invented drug Flourish, patent pending for Thornley Pharmaceuticals, a pill that mirculously grows boobs. First full story
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I read your story.  That seems like it should be a minimum requirement to actually leave a critique, but maybe I'm just old fashioned.

Anyway, I liked what you did here even though I felt like it needed a little more fleshing out.  I don't think you were necessarily going for something meaty though, so for what you wanted to do, that's OK.  I think stories presented in a nontraditional format are fun, and diarystyle narratives are a great way to get straight to the point and provide an elegant method to present one character's POV.  

Flourish is creative and cute, and it's clear that's what you like, and like to write.  It comes out in some of the scenes, and I can tell it's a true expression of whatever was in your head at the time.  Threading that needle is an achievement that is rarer in BE stories than it should be, so major props for that.

For a first story I think it's great, and you're thinking outside the box which is a great place to be for a writer who may write more and grow to become extremely good.  I hope you write more and share with this audience.
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Awesome story I have no real complaints and am looking forward to more.
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Your story is amazing and I really enjoyed it, one but of criticism would be just a tad bit more attention to detail, for instance how long and thick her nipplesArreola got. Other then that it was amazing. Please keep writing
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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