The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Princess Transformed (redux, more BE)
Daphnia's throne is usurped and she is transformed into an elfslut. 

Hi, I'm back again with the retooled version of my story! Based on the comments I've gotten I've decided to add more BE to it. I hope you enjoy!

Just to be clear, the story is definitely heavier on the sex and plot than the BE, though the latter is definitely present. It's a multi-part story which I've posted on different sites, but the installments I post here will have more BE to them, so don't worry. 
Average Scores:

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
not good
Will It Work
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Not a huge difference, but credit for being responsive.
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Pretty good, but it feels like a part 1 instead of a full story.  Not sure what the first comment is complaining about I only saw one typo.  I would like more BE description, however.
Pretty Good
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
To the previous comment  dang. Relax. I think it's pretty good, and honestly my scores are higher to balance out the trolling. Keep it up Izenrann, I'd like to see more.
Avid BE fan
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 3, Technical= 1
There still isn't enough BE for a BE website. The focus is so much on the plot that the BE is based on the fact that this is a redux an afterthought. The same typos and editing mistakes present in your original make a return that any basic spellchecker can find. I expect more from a redux, especially since you say you've read the previous comments in your original post. 
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
Your Nickname:

Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: