A mercenary looking for a big score gets more then what he bargains for.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.33
- BE: 2.67
- Characters: 3.33
- Technical: 2.67
tipsygrammarian
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
The writing is like something I imagine a 14 year old would do. I'm not particularly interested in reading anything by children. At least take out the RP tags.
Anonymous
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
Go into a bit more detail about the BE, if you could in the next one.
C9
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 2
I enjoyed this story, but the spelling and grammar made it a bit difficult at times to follow. I really liked the idea, and would enjoy seeing this story expanded upon (pun intended).
The actual process in the story was too quick, and the conclusion was rather abrupt. Seth, the hero was very cookie cutter and Carmyllia (loved her) needs some more fleshing out. The descriptions could use a little work as well. Especially when you're dealing with magic. Slow down the pacing a little. Draw things out, explain what's happening so we can enjoy the show. It sounds like an awesome idea I'd like to see done again and then continued.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
