The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Kelly White
Anticipation
A first person retelling of a ski vacation gone horribly right due to some magic milk! Watch as the narrator and his girlfriend discover the rules that govern the milk and its effects on bodies and minds, and find out how they come to terms with the results.
Average Scores:

Sucker4Boobs
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

The first-person POV in this story made me smile. I loved the thought-processes of the narrator.

K
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Very witty; it had me laughing. Good description and characters. Love the transformations, can't wait until the next installment! :D

Jason G
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Can't wait for the next installment. This is a unique story and doesn't follow any cookie cutter patterns like some of the shorter, simpler stories here. Weird, yes, but that's good!

guy
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Awesome!

Vaelon
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5


Very well done, just a little light on the descriptions.

multaur
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Encore! Well written and love the constant changes.

TM
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I'd say you're doing pretty good.

The only complaint I have is that you're not wordy enough, description-wise.

Kodos does that too much, but perhaps it could inspire you?

tc86
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Definitely continue!

Board
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

More please!

twim
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Very good indeed. Keep it up for as long as possible! (always good advice :) )

SW
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Really enjoyed this one! Did appreciate the adjustment in style, but as far as establishing scene and characters you did an excellent job at the beginning. Can't wait for the next part!

.
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Awesome story, can't wait for the next part!

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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