The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Io and The Goddess of Fertility
When Io, a simple girl of the barren Northern steppes, is summoned to the great city of the Goddess, she doesn't know what to expect.  There she meets Kymera, a lusty and headstrong young priestess, and learns that she alone may have the power to revive a dying realm, but only if she can help Kymera become the perfect vessel of the Goddess's abundance. 

(This is the first time I've tried to write a story with more of a fantasy setting to it, so any feedback or criticism on how well I have succeeded or failed at my task would be most appreciated)
Average Scores:

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

You have superb descriptive talents. This story was well written, though, personally, I would have liked a little more sex.

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Great job! Although tummy expansion isn't my thing, your story was so engaging and well told, that I rather enjoyed it! My one complaint is the off camera sex scenes. I would have liked to read one.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Kodos this is super bizarre to say, and I never thought I'd do this in a review, but chill out on the BE description. With every story you make very clear, gigantic strides in your writing ability, to the point now that you're so skilled that it's actually enjoyable just to read your non-erotic prose.

I think for your next story you need to be aware that you have an extremely rare gift. It's an exclusive club you're in with like 3 or 4 other writers where you know how to tell an interesting story. Like others have said, you are in a unique position to pace this out.

I might compare you to a writer like Steve Palmer, but you're even better than that, if you started pacing it out a little bit. You can get away with long-form stories because you're so skilled, and it would be a crazy waste not to take full advantage of that. You've got a niche here, now make it into a dynasty.

I know I'm not alone when I say experiment with heavier doses of dialogue, heavier doses of characterization, go harder on raw story telling. You're already teaching us a master class on every other aspect of BE story telling.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

An explicit theme of 'fertility' works excellently for your style of writing and BE!

I would be delighted to see more fantasy stories, either in this setting, or with other premises, from you.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Another excellent story by Kodos. Though I do agree with some of the points that anon has made in how it was getting a little repetitive but at the same time it was very enjoyable which sort of negates it.

One criticism that I do have though is that you tend to be very vague about just how large she ends up. At some points I thought she had breasts that were like the size of beach-balls but in reality they just barely bigger than her head. You tend to let the readers imagination run off ahead of your story in terms of size. Though that itself could be good as it shows how vivid and imaginative your descriptions are. xD

Overall, I loved it.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Anon covered my points, but I'm the Romanian Judge...

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Very nice. Suffers a bit from your habit of compressing all of the growth for a particular part of the body into one *massive* paragraph, however, which can get a little hard to read. Additionally, the actual growth part of the story is repetitive -- sit down, three paragraphs of growth, pause, three big paragraphs of growth, pause, plot, three big paragraphs of growth. Do you know what I mean?

This not to say I didn't enjoy it immensely.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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