The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Daz Anderson
The Last Carton
A very short first foray into writing. A young woman  gets very big, thanks to the last carton of milk...
Average Scores:

Anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Excellent writing...you hit all the right notes...personally I would have preferred if you went into more detail on the milk drinking, making it more involved, but that's just me.

FleshFan
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 1, Technical= 4

Very nice, good growth description!

dasgud
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Really nice overall.

G-man001
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

A really good effort! Keep at it!

Chuckles
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Really good. My only complaint is that there isn't more.

Gojira
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

Impressive. Good use of terms, nothing too repetitive. A good short story. I would love to see you try another one!

Kodos
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

As first forays go, this is a damn good one. It is a very short story, just like you say in the description, but you work in a number of little touches that still give a nice sense of characterization. Likewise, in contrast to so much of the first-time work posted here, your story very technically well done; your style has a crispness to it that makes for a very pleasing read. I'd love it if you went into a bit more detail with her growth, but that's just my own bias showing; you have to write what you feel called to. Anyways, keep up the good work; I hope you'll be posting more here in the future.

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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