The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

pakled
pakled05@hotmail.com
Katya of Lycerne
Hi, I'm back. Spent 5 months off the Internet (long story), so...here's a long story. Two versions; 1 short story with BE, and then, because of way too much time on my hands, a 'novella' of around 190 pages. For those looking for the good stuff - look for the 'tilda of tittilation', and skip all the stolen quotes, snappy patter, light humor, and plot and character development. Tilda = ~, just search for that.

Have about another 6 stories (working on the 7th) for this site alone. Have fun, and more to come.
Average Scores:

Chaos-Master
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Have you ever thought about writing more stories set in this universe? I also thought the al-jabba pun was pretty funny.

Keep up the awesome work!!

Without Chaos there is no Order.

BB47
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I only read half before I realized I would have to really commit to the story to finish it. It made me realize that I like to read this genre more for excitement than for overarching satisfaction. I'll come back to this story when I'm ready for the long haul.
However, so far, so good.

pakled
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Busted...;) This is the first time 190pps is 'rushing' to finish something...;)
1)Agreed- prime sequel material
2)Enniya - she's the 'domestic' one, not really as interested in wild adventures, and sort of provides 'grounding' to the other characters. I'm sure someone or something will happen to her.
3)Ko-ar is in a sort of wasteland between Jekka and Lycerne, not really claimed as such by either. Likely, this will change.
4)Ley lines have varying strenghts; they got the weakest one. The ley lines had 'natural' pathways, which they reverted to when the binding was release. No guarantee it's going to stay where they found it, either...;)
5)The investigation didn't end; I sort of glossed over that. It'd be like Perry Mason, and need some really good detective work to get out of it. It would also lead to factions; pro-Sorceress against anti.
The main problem I get into with these epics is that everyone's already 'plumped up', and there's nowhere to put in BE; thank heavens it's voluntary or I'd have to post somewhere else...;)

Aaschen Shugar
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Not quite up to your usual standard, for all of these new stories. But you are still miles above 99.9 percent of all the writers at The Owerflowing Bra. Especially Katya of Lycerne was well written. Allthough i would have liked to se a bit more BE and sex, hehe. The storyline was captivating and believable in the world setting you chose. I agree with another reviewer that some of the characters could have been a bit more fleshed out. No pun intended, but All in all, well done.

Gobbles
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Alrighty, much to say on this one. Echoing the comments of the others here, great work. It's rare to find a 198 page BE story that is able to balance the erotic nature of the work with a serious, believable plot and characters that actually have some depth to them. I enjoyed the concept of basing the entire story around a king's novel solution to solve multiple socio-economic issues in his kingdom, along with military ones. Your description and use of the magic in your world seemed logical and not out of place, and overall this is a very well-written piece.

***WARNING! Partial Spoilers In Comments!***

That being said, I noticed some incongruities in the story. It seems like you planned for more to happen, but ran into a case of writer's block and wrapped everything up in rush. Some examples include:
1. The three children of Skrywulf. It's mentioned several times they are critical parts of the Prophecy, but not much is made of them except for the birth and the erotic scenes that can be spun off for the preg and lactation fans.
2. What happened to Enniya? She features strongly in the beginning of the story then kind of fades away due to her less magical nature. I would have liked to see her character be fleshed out a little more.
3. What of the conflict with the Jekkan? You've established that the city of Ko'ar is to be re-inhabited, but isn't the city deep in Jekkan-controlled land? How is that going to work out?
4. When Katya shifted the ley-lines back to Ko'ar, Thais commented several times that they ley-lines would be very difficult to move back to the wizard's tower in Northpass. Yet, two middling wizards were able to successfully move one of the lines back with too much problem. How does that work?
5.How did the wizard investigation of the disappearance of Baetarg end?

I could go on, but you get the idea. If you would like my full list I can email you.

I hope that you could write a sequel that would address all the loose threads that are still hanging about from the end of this story.

Anonymoose
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Holy crap this was good, not just for the p0rn but the story. I would love to see more, not just in the setting but a continuation of the all the characters tales.

Bigreader
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Exceptionally good, better than many published books. Anybody who uses that thoughtfully included tilde idea is missing out. Or just irreparably horny.

Halfelf
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

A very enjoyable story! Thanks for taking the time to write and share it with all of us!

sebringblue06
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

hey man love the stories. was wonderin if u r goin to do more with the hands stories cant wait to read more bout them

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