A small guy and his BBW girlfriend undergo some changes.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.00
- BE: 3.00
- Characters: 4.00
- Technical: 4.25
BB47
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
I always have to remind myself when I'm writing that this archive is called "the overflowing bra". It's easy to get sidetracked when you are writing 'horny', but you need to keep this theme in mind the whole time. Boobs boobs boobs.
flies
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I was disappointed because you included some story codes in your description that didn't actually represent the story: fa and mg, and those are of the two things I really like. Personally, I found all the description of the guy uninteresting, I'd much rather hear about Molly's appearance, but if that's your thing then go for it.
Roid Abuser
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
This is an "almost great" story. Bit rushed, bit disjointed, lots of missed opportunities -- e.g., the counter girl --- there are some serious muscle sluts in this world, and when they come on, they come on shockingly aggressively.
Also, little in the form of emotions and desires.
How did he feel about his new body? Powerful? How did she feel about her body? Sexy? Cute? Sultry? How did each feel about the other's body? Lust? Desire?
Who, what, when, where, how and why. When all else fails, write a newspaper account, then color in the details.
And while I seriously applaud you for not neglecting the male transformation (seriously, it's at least half the deal), you did let the the female part slide. A big fat chick turning into petite Kim Kardashian? If you tell me she didn't get in front of a mirror and jill herself off twice a day, I'd call you a liar.
deux_anges
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
I do like a little bit of size disparity fantasy and your writing quality it good. The main problem here was that there was actually very little BE. If you had as much description of BE as you did of the growth of the male protagonist this would have been a "5".
TW
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Great start, you definitely have to write more...maybe a bit more attention on the growth/expansion itself, instead of just stating it happened, but you're on the right way!
Anony-mouse
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
Really enjoyed it, would love a follow up with details on her expansion
Josephine
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Great story. Hope you'll do a sequel to this, focusing more on the girlfriend's growth.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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