Mike is just a normal high school senior until his 18th birthday. However, when his powers begin to manifest, the most unlikely girl gets caught up in his problem. Or maybe it's fate? Perhaps she's the perfect candidate for his breast expansion fetish. Let me know what you think!
Interesting characters and kinda wholesome story overall. BE description could go more indepth, but that's only my preference and not something bad per se. Grammar and writing style are also nice. Personally I liked the different families' divergent reactions and the comparison to a RL person to aid ones imagination.
يجب ان لا نتسرع. لن نعر٠Øتى تصدر الاصدارة النهائية.اذا كانت تستخدم واجهة جنوم ستستخدم 2.32.Ùهذا يعني أنها لن تستخدم برامج جنوم باصدارها3. مثل nautilus; totem; gedit.على الأغلب. شيء مؤسÙ.
Great story! I found myself caring for the characters which says a lot. Well conceptualized! Well executed! Well done! Also as a comic book fan, sci-fi fan, and overall nerd, I must say that I liked the way his powers work in terms of redistributing the mass and changing it's composition rather than creating it or destroying it. The diharrea (sp?) scene was funny and made perfect scence. I look forward to reading more!
Very enjoyable story. The dialogue between the characters has a very human feel to it, and they feel rather well developed.
Great job with this. I'm eagerly awaiting your future work.
Very nice! really looking forward to the next part!
This is an excellent self contained story and I think that any additions would take away from it. It's a story of young love that represents attraction and passion as more physically tangible attributes. Who hasn't realized in a moment of passion that their partner is suddenly perfect in every way. The world can suddenly change in one encounter as you realize you're in love with a wonderfully beautiful person. The rest of the world and the opinions of others don't matter. It's all an analogy for a typical romance. One touch of a hand offers a special connection, another moment of passion binds your souls.
@Craig, I haven't written the second part yet, I'm still thinking about it. You bring up a valid request. I was wanting to take the story into an "action" style direction, where the main character is part of a bigger group of characters with similar powers. But you bring up a different point. I'm wondering if it would be better to keep it simple and just further investigate the relationship between these two characters instead. I'm torn.
I just hope that it will not develop into another twisted tale of secrets and agendas instead of exploring the wonderful possibilities for kink and fun such relationship would provide. Otherwise great start.
@cmdr, ah, yes.. About the villain, he's very important to the direction of the story. Our protagonist is not alone in this world and there are some who would like to manipulate his powers for their own twisted agenda.
A very enjoyable read. Didn't quite need the "villian" at the end, but I enjoyed the characters and the action.
MOAR!! BECAUSE MOAR! Really nice story and idea with the body/fat altering powers, wating for part 2.
terrific!
out standing story in all areas, the sex was great and there was even some empathy so much in short supply in BE stories
Another fantastic story. It's nice to see a BE writer who has such a great knack for character development.
MORE PLEASE...THANK YOU!!!
Pretty good. I would like you to spend more time describing the changes as they happen. You could also have described the characters a little bit more. I'm looking forward to part 2.
Great story. Liked it so much that this is the first time I'm rating a story. Really looking forward to the second part. Hope to see a bit more erotic descriptions in the growth parts and would love to see if potentially mini-gts could fit in.
A few grammatical things bothered me, but otherwise I loved the story, please write more.
Great story! You could go in several different directions about this as well. I can imagine a woman that suddenly gained this ability as well, could she control herself?
Great story. I would rate it just below an instant classic.
Enjoyed the fat relocation - I'm surprised at how rare a trope it is in this genre. Good use of showing rather than telling - the way she dressed up and tried to kiss him tells us so much more than "she had a crush on him." The painful, disgusting first fat transfer was also very well done.
Still, felt that characters could have been more fully developed, in light of the author's actual ability to do so. Lastly, felt that BE description was slightly lacking: for such a major part of the plot, it was relatively scant.
Awesome! Thanks.
A great Story! Please go on!!! I like this stories without huge asses (a little bigger is ok) and preggnant parts...
It would be great if you could better suscribe the grow parts. And it would be great if they (both) would go (much) bigger :)
I would like to read about the normal life problems the grow causes, clothes, cars, doors etc and the reaktions from others...
Love it. I like stories where the nerd or fatty be it boy or girl, get the chance to to be happy and loved(with a very graphic sex scene) lol
I love the Fat transfer to the breast.
surprising to say the least, this is an instant BE classic,wonderful stuff. I liked him finding his attraction to her, the style of transformation, the transformations themselves, and that people didn't just "accept" it, which adds some tension. I also found the female character suprisingly relatable. It demonstrates a great understanding of relationships the way it played out, and the seduction was wonderful. Now it wouldn't be a review if I didn't give you where you can improve, right? Ok, the inner monologue was sparse, as well as her perspective, which left more to be desired. It would have been very enticing to see more description of how things felt (how would having abnormally large penis/breasts feel?), of course this is where my imagination took over, so it's not the worst thing. Oh and at one or two points I couldn't tell where the seduction transitioned to sex. I have to agree that the characters do feel generic, but the depth you add with their own perversions is a pleasant distraction. It lacked some realism/charm in the way she just accepted and desired the changes without the motivation being built up. She comes off as desperate, and I have to wonder when our heros would have to pay for her desperation. It can be hot at times, but a desperate attitude can wreck a relationship. A little more romance would smooth over these things, if she loved him so much that she trusted him (as I assume), then things seem less like they are headed towards a bad place later after the story ends. Of course would like to see where the story is going next. Bravo.
@Roid, dude! that's a great idea, I may actually incorporate that into the series.
@Sp1ke, I just finished part 1 this morning.. and I'm halfway into STX pt 3 and another story.. but I'll hurry.
@Jared, ouch... "flavorless?", really? gives me something to think about.
Fantastic
Spectacular! Not sure what could be improved, but perhaps in the next installment a lovers' tension between the protagonist who (against his better judgment, pehaps drunk at a swim party at somone's house) decides to sleep with the newly-turned-on-by-stud evil blond (who loves his cock) --- and who is, by his lack of control, turned into borderline supernatually beautiful, but still completely bitchy, woman (but obsessed with his cock and his power).
WHEN WILL CHAPTER 2 BE POSTED
Good: The length of your piece was pretty intimidating, but it read quick. I was popping a boner during much of it.
Bad: Your characters were pretty generic/typical. We got the kind-hearted guy and the secretly sexual ugly girl. The writing worked in a flavorless kind of way. Sometimes similes come out of nowhere e.g. like a cow/an erotic sandwich. Those tend to make me laugh rather than give me a better grasp on your images.
good stuff. looking forward to part 2.