Flung into the world of the Asstrix, Rachel clings to her trainer and learns how to manipulate her self image. To be Cuntinued. More to Cum.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 1.56
- BE: 1.67
- Characters: 1.33
- Technical: 1.44
Everything
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
Not sure about what the other commentators feel, but I found it readable and very good fun. However, it is a criminally short story.
Yash the Stampede
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Trust me. You don't want to read it.
Tdean
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
I keep getting a corrupted file.
littleone
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
Horrid
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
Never, ever write a story entirely in present tense. It is the worst mistake you can ever make.
anonymous
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
It's not quite as abysmal as the other posters are making it sound, but it's not great either. Consider:
*moving to the past-tense
*spending less time thinking up puns and more time on building characters.
*ditching the thesaurus.
MonsieurEcks
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
If you want to write these stories, I suggest first coming to grips with the English language. Odd phrasing and poor wording make this already rather thin story simply unreadable.
Ninja In The Night
Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1
I read the whole story and found it pretty much unappetizing. It was poorly written, many things were mis-spelled, and the characters seemed paper thin. Overall, it was a whack piece and nothing more. Personally, I enjoy a story that has at least a hint of development in it and a bit of effort. Good try though, better luck next time.
JJM75
Overall= 1, BE= 2, Characters= 2, Technical= 1
Sorry, but this was damn near unreadable.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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