The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Too Much of a Good Thing Part 3
After going to whatever extremes necessary to fill out her new bathing suit, Chloe goes for a walk on the beach and decides that the moon isn't the only thing that ought to be full tonight.
Average Scores:

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Fun series! How about adding a twist to the spell? How about Cloe and her lover have to stay in proximity to each other or the spell will reverse, also the longer they're apart the faster the changes occur. Say. several miles or kilometers for the distance and a week for full reversal. Send Chloe's lover on a week long, out of town business trip and he comes back to find the slender version of Cloe again. They then get to explore the spell over and over again.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

I enjoy your storys very much!
Nice to read more like this. Please go on and thanks!

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I also enjoy this series quite a lot. However, it would be helpful if you were to describe how big she is at different points in time. While you continue to say that she is growing, I'm not sure if you ever explained that she was big but normal sized (full term looking?), or bigger (triplets?), or bigger (some impossible size where her belly is as deep as he is tall?), etc. I do enjoy the simple growth itself, but it was hard to form a picture in my mind. She can't be too huge if she is fitting into doorways or walking around, but I just am not sure.

Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

I've always loved the way that you describe your expansions and processes, but you need some serious work on your dialogue. These are characters — people, and they should act as such (which they do), but they talk like robots! Try imagining the actual conversation taking place, and how you'd talk if you were talking to another friend. Vocabulary is nice, but when "Indeed, and what might this solution entail?" can become "Yeah, and what can I do?", the characters seem a bit more like people, rather than actors in a story. Don't stop writing!

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
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Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
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Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
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