See what happens when a couple realizes they were destined for each other. The first of a few chapters. Enjoy!
Average Scores:
- Overall: 4.25
- BE: 4.25
- Characters: 4.25
- Technical: 4.25
bob the builder
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
maybeenuf4u
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I enjoyed the story. It is a gift that the story came to you so easily! I often have the genesis of stories, but when I try to write them down, get all bogged down. Keep writing.
As for constructive criticism, I think your focus was not on the 3rd nipple. Not that I'm in to that, but I'm into the story line. If your into the 3rd nipple, you need to explore that a little more, I think.
Good job, keep writing, I look forward to Ch 2.
pudz
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5
I appreciate that her breast shrunk (to expand again im hoping), its also better for it to happen to same woman/girl more than once for me, nice job, going to read chapter 2 when it comes
Anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3
Maybe put a little more detail into the BE.
Also, work on your flow--all of your sentences seem to have the same structure, and it makes the writing seem a bit choppy.
Other than those minor problems, this was truly an enjoyable story. I hope you write more!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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