This is a story about Breast Expansion through breast implants.
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.20
- BE: 2.60
- Characters: 3.00
- Technical: 3.40
Modo-Modo
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
ok...for yer first attempt this isn't that bad.
though in the future ya might want to give yer main character a personality that doesn't rival a complete @$$! All in all...not bad.
Ninja In The Night
Overall= 3, BE= 1, Characters= 2, Technical= 2
I didn't really care for the story myself. I felt that a lot of it was needless cursing the quick mental switch of the female character didn't really have an explanation. The breast expansion portion of the story was also quickly done and seemed rather haphazard. I guess to each their own of course. On the other hand, if this is the first time you've written, then you've got a good start, but you've a decent way to go.
Baconman
Overall= 1, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
Decent enough, but I couldn't get past how much of an ass the main character was pretty much the whole time. Excessive chauvinism kills my boner, yo.
Twe
Overall= 4, BE= 2, Characters= 3, Technical= 3
It felt like you started with a list of measurements and then filled in a bit of by-story... I like the idea though...
Joey
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
It was great! More stories about implants and with plenty of dirty talking!
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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