Unknown
Unexplained expansion on the way home from school. Or was it just a dream?
Average Scores:
- Overall: 3.00
- BE: 1.67
- Characters: 1.00
- Technical: 3.00
The Doob
Overall= 2, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
This is another example of a story that feels like you wrote it for your own (ahem) "enjoyment". Rushed, lacking in any real sense of description, and all-around... no. Running full tilt and crashing topless into pavement just makes me cringe (it makes about as much sense as *she vigorously scraped sandpaper over her breasts, cumming as it stripped away skin*). If you opt to try again with another submission at some point, please don't just rush headlong through the whole thing.. take a bit of time to flesh out the details and happenings.
Genoharden
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
Details, details, details! Just slow it down a bit... Remember we can't see the things you imagine!
someone who read the story
Overall= 4, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 3
An enjoyable enough flash, with a delicious enough transformation. No plot or character, really, but the two uncontrollable tails were an entertaining and hot element. That said, falling on one's over-sensitized chest should really hurt. A lot.
Probably the most useful suggestion I could make is to spend a bit more time describing the growth.
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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