The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

A Terrible Change Parts I, II and II
I finally got around to adding the third part.  Many more to come!  I am also taking much of the advice I have been given.  Thanks to all who commented last time!
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

There seem to be all sorts of unwritten rules for YA lnveos one is that the main character must have a girlfriend or boyfriend by the final page, or failing that, have developed a large group of supportive friends and relatives. That idea that everyone has to be good-looking is especially annoying (although I don't see why hairy arms would have any effect on a person's attractiveness). I think there's still a place for weird loners in YA, though Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You, for instance. And I'm sorry to hear about your book. I hope you can find another publisher for it (if that's what you want), without having to turn the character into something fake.

Hawaiian Shirts
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 4

Somewhere in the Internet I have already read almost the same selection of information, but anyway thanks!!...

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Keep up the good work. Look forward to the rest of the story

Wooooooo boobs!
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 3

Fuckin love this story! Really can't wait to see the next chapter!

Red Squirrel
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

Very good. I like the storyline a lot. In future chapters, it would be great if you would continue to emphasize his struggle with his own body, rather than just with his captors, as so many of these stories often do.

Very Free
Overall= 2, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I found at least fifty errors, mostly missing commas, but several punctuation and spelling errors. Above average story, but I would've given it higher ratings save for one thing.

We read stories to get a thrill out of them. But in this case, Casey/Vicky is faced with the dichotomy of being both thrilled and horrified at her predicament. I find that disturbing.

And I'm not a fan of TG. But to make up for that, let's have much more BE!! Okay? And let her get his body back (Wha??) and win the battle against the evil Dr. Frankenstein (I'm reading this on Halloween), and everything come to a huge hootered, milky mammaried conclusion, okay?

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

You're on your way kid.

Writing is better this time around, but you should practice writing dialogue more, Or read more stories here!!

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 4


Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Love it!! Can't wait for the next chapter.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Really cool I love it, don't stop the good work.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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