Jake loves big tits and computers, and ends with a winning combination.
He removed it from all sites to make money off it as an ebook. Then it got delisted. So that means no one can read it now!
Stupid article..!
great story,not into the b.e. end enough.nedded more about their growth.?visible ,slow?
I personally love stories that deal with the effects of technology in our lives. The ideas that implanted electronics can change our attitudes and emotions to the point we can't distinguish between reality and fiction leads to epic ethical issues, which the protagonist obviously must deal with.
Now, I'm sure you already have the third book planed out, but have you given thought to what the characters could accomplish if they had conscious knowledge of the implants? In fembot mode, their powers over computer systems are incredible - what if they could do it awake? I'm thinking Ghost-in-the-Shell type stuff here.
One of the best pieces of fiction, regardless of content, that I've ever read.
Holy shit, I've never read a story that was THIS good. Please don't make us wait for part 2!
i cant wait for part two buch make the next few fembots the protaganist obtains into different ssexual fantasies, like a busty one, a tall one, ect.and robbie can be the "perfect one"
where is part two! finished part one and its one of the best astories ive ever read -- can't wait to find out what he'll do with two ibod's - hopefully BE for both!
The first BE story I've read, and I have yet to find a better story so far. well done :)
One of the best stories I have ever read and I am glad I decided to download your epic tale. A tad technical but overall fulfilling, one of the most satisfying experiences ever.
Kudos to you and here's to hoping you write more!
As others have said, you've produced a great story. I am also not a huge fan of MC, but this one seemed a lot more tolerable than some others I've seen, and I had no trouble reading through the entire thing, especially since it looks like you actually proof-read your work! I wish more people would do that. Of course there were minor things, but nobody can read a story like that and be expected to catch every single error - the story sucks you in... Not unlike a few of the characters. ;) I look forward to book two!
Loved it!!! Almost perfect. I'm not great with critical analysis though:)
I dont like mind controle But even though you did a good story and an interesting one , I am interested in readnig the next parts , nice work
Wonderful Story only issue i saw was ahh screw it an almost perfect 9 out of 10 overall
Awesome story. It shows you put a lot of work into this.
Gave BE a 4 due to low amounts of it but enjoyment is definitely a 5!
I agree with a previous poster - this belongs over at MC Stories as well.
This is the best story I've read in years! I can't wait to read the next chapter, but that doesn't mean I want you to rush it. Great job!!
You obviously know how to write, so I will not spend too much time on the mechanics. The story had a few errors, but given the gratis nature of the document, I do not expect professional copy editors to check everything. No biggie.
The other thing I really want to point out is your writing style. Crappy couch. Crappy couch. Bitchin' sofa! I really like your sense of humor. Apple logo pussy? Okay that is sorta funny, but saying that the protagonist has all the porn under the sun except for shemales and Keira Knightley? I almost rolled for that one.
But there were a few overarching things that really irritated me. These are not things that you will notice from your everyday story review, but a rhetorician will notice them:
(1) The moment of choice for Robbi pays lip service to her free will. If you are trying to give her a genuine choice, try harder with some adjustments with the interface. If you are trying to say that free will is a farce, then you still have to try harder--show how no amount of liberation allows an individual to make an unfettered decision.
(2) Maria's money is a convenient solution to Jake's financial problems. By putting this development into the story, you eliminate an important struggle between Robbi, Maria, and Jake and the rest of the world. The rest of us have to work, and that creates relationships that belong in a story, regardless if the story is porn. Do not be intimidated to leave 'mundane' depictions in the story, because great writers can work it to their advantage.
Overall, you wrote an entertaining story, and there are issues within it that make you think, which is almost always a good thing. Good job.
Best I've read in weeks.
Hell of such as good. It may be long, but it makes savoring it that much more enjoyable.
Expertly written. This could become the best written porn plot ever!
Awesome. Simply awesome.
I'd like to note that, while its not a big issue in this story as it normally would be considering how the breast expansion isn't the sole focus, the description of the breasts' size and such should include more than just the cup size and measurement. Give us something to compare it to; but don't be so blunt about it that it disrupts the narrative.
I cannot wait for the next installment, and like a few others, also await even bigger hooters. Shoot for the Huge tag next time!
Just like someone else, this is the first story I've ever rated. I felt it was my duty.
Excellent - only two dozen minor errors, mostly it's instead of its, or punctuation, which for its length, was exceptional. Yeah, the length kind of dilutes the BE a bit, so it's hard to recall that there were some great episodes - but I'd still like more! I'm definitely anticipating a sequel - don't make us wait!
Oh, yeah, we already know the couch is shitty. ;-)
I didn't really intend to read this story. I went to browse comments and see what people looked for in a story. So I chose this one. I was surprised at the wild accolades, and I had to see for myself what was going on. I feel a lot like Salieri right now, being confronted with true, effortless genius in the face of my own comparative mediocrity.
Originally I was disgusted at the brutal misogeny that is standard fare in all MC stories, but realized this must have been a concious choice on your part, and a necessity for the character to move forward.
I wish I knew what it was that sucked me in, if I could extract the formula and use it in my own experiments. I'd criticize the lack of a focus on BE, but who cares. Entertainment is entertainment.
It's been a long while since I saw a story to which I could unreservedly give a solid 5 star rating in all categories.
Thank you, sir. I salute you.
There is not enough quality BE long form fiction out there.
I applaud those who can do it well.
I'll be in my bunk.
Er, applauding.
This is the best story I've read in a while. Eagerly awaiting another!
You are an amazing writer and i will certainly be keeping an eye out for more of your stories.
really amazing dude, I couldn't stop reading it - one of the best stories in this genre I've ever read.
Very, very good. Dare we hope for real enormity, in the next Book? Thanks!
This is an amazing story - good length, development, quality, and GRAMMAR. Keep it up!
Amazing
So far this is the only story thats pushed me to make much of a comment on it! its truly great!
TOTALLY AWESOME!! You should post this over at mc stories. very interesting mind control elements. keep it up.
"Hi, I'm a Mac."
"And I'm a PC. Who's the woman you've got over there?"
"Oh, she's my robofem."
"Your 'robofem'?"
"Yeah, I just hooked her up, did some simple programming, and now she's a devoted slave with 34JJ breasts. It's easy with the new iRobot software that's a part of iLife. She interfaces with iPhone and iPod, too."
"That's it. I quit."And that was the last commercial Apple ever had to make.
This is a very good story.
The details are just at the right level that it leave you to imagine what you want.
It's believable, it holds together. Just plain GREAT
Best story ever!!!!!!!!!!
Please write more!
Very well done! You have a way with words. I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter.
You sir are one of the greats, in this fetish and like as not in the art of the written word at large. This monster took me hours to read and I flatly could not stop reading until there was nothing left to be read. Twas a truly AWE INSPIRING TALE. Keep it up man.
Superb! Only half-way through and I already voted. This is amazing!
absolutely fabulous! not your average big breasted bimbo story. I love how the female lead isn't a mindless toy or a giggling sex puppet. she's intelligent and decisive while still being a complete slave to her desires. thank you for this!
Very nicely done. I enjoyed Jake's instances of morality being over-shadowed by general desire for mad science. I think the length was fine, shorter tales could come across as rushed.
Dear god that was the best goddamn literary fetish fiction I've ever fucking read, ever. You are a complete champ at writing and I tip my hat to you. Everything in that story was amazing, especially the ending.
The protagonist seemed like a Lex Luthor jackass at first, but by the time it got to the ending it made perfect sense and felt completely at home, because I could see nobody else performing such rituals on human beings.
I tip my hat to you and I say nothing other than "Make more" and "Don't worry about the length."
Oh. My God... This story rocks. My only wish is that it came out sooner, but I cant have everything can I? It is an awsome story that kept me intertained and hard the entire story. You, Big Kahuna are a genius in the written word.
there must be a sequel...because good god damn that was a great story. even without the action that was a great story. well done.
In my opinion, this story is very well done, and the author should continue the story (as is implied in the introduction and the fact that it is called book 1)
The concept behind the storyline is believable, and overall it works.