lightfantastically@gmail.com
In the second installment of this tale of the busty, lustful, super-sexual women called the Slutpires, Mia experiences her first day among their kind. She quickly learns to adjust to her new body and its new desires...
(Parts 1 and 2 included)
Average Scores:
- Overall: 5.00
- BE: 4.58
- Characters: 4.83
- Technical: 4.83
Bb47
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Odalisque
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4
This one was a great followup to a promising series. I particularly liked the twist about self gratification, and that being a slutpire isn't just another blunt wish fulfillment scenario, but has a number of drawbacks as well. The complexity that adds gives a great deal of substance to the story. My only real complaints are with the hokiness of the words slutpire and horferatu
bla
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
trupe
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 5
While it straddles the line of cliche a bit, this story is incredibly well-written and was overall a great read. I think some more detail/specifics concerning the BE would add a lot. Rather than comparing one to another show us how big they are. Beyond that minor point, this is a work you should be proud of. I hope you'll keep writing and I look forward to the next installment.
Stuff
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Awesome story, can't wait to read more.
OM NOM NOM
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
RaquelB
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
I think it's pretty good! i can't wait to read more!!!!
ghoomba
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
This is an amazingly well written story. I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you!
elvis_interuptus
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Vlad
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Gotta keep it going man this story has some serious potential.
Scholar
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 4
As a writer for OB (a while ago) I must say, this is an amazing story. You have quite a gift for writing my friend. I would say that the premiss of this story is great and I can't wait to read more. The characters of the story are very likeable and realistic while maintaining that fantasy girl charm or a sex-crazed nympho. I also love the down and dirty plain old freakishness that so many writers here tend to be too conservative about. I must say that the description of BE in the second story was practically non-existant however, your detail in the first bit was great and your general description is a real plus for this story. The writing style and grammar are fine although there is little that sets the style apart from others. However, these stories are fairly formulaic and in terms of grammar, near perfect with very few spell errors which can hardly be even considered distracting. I would love to talk more about this beauthor_scholar@yahoo.com. I can't wait to read your next entry and it has pushed me to consider re-entering this writing circle.
aryanman
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5
Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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