The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Kracken de Polar
Far beyond hazing
Jim interrupts a rite of initiation of a mysterious frat. He then gets caught in something he cannot comprehend.
Average Scores:

Moisturizer For Men
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Of course, I understand a little about this post but will try cope with it!!...

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 2

I enjoyed the imagery that this story generated and, for me, the fantasy situation seemed plausible. I liked the tale and will want to go back to it. I'd like to see a sequel.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Nice one!

Kracken de Polar
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

(given self average)

Thanks everyone for all the feedback. I tried to proofread and go over to the best of my abilities, but trying to find someone else to read this from a technical aspect is hard. I might try to find someone from theprocess to check it out before hand next time. Thanks

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

It moves a bit too quickly for me, I felt at times that things got left out that could be described better such as the shifts in power that happened. Not a bad story all around but has a lot of potential left to be discovered.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Not bad. Keep it up.

Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

unbelievably sexy =P

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

This is a great start. First and foremost you need to thoroughly review the work before you release it. The errors and typos are very distracting at best, and make the situation difficult to understand at worst. Second, better descriptions and explanations of what is going on and why would really flesh the story out and make it more fun. That will also make it easier to build on down the road. For example, have the antagonist whisper the compulsions into Jim's ear, instead of just assuming them.

It's a great imaginative piece and I hope you will continue to write and even continue this story.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
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BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

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