The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

Mich
Apology Accepted
My second official BE story.  Thank you for all of the positive feedback on the last one, I attempted keep all of it in mind.  Please excuse me if there is excess character development; I can get carried away.  In any case, in this story, a young man and his girlfriend get over there fight, and just in time, as strange things will soon occur down at the beech.
Average Scores:

katheb
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

i like it , sorry i cant help more with this comment

dsfargeg
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 4

awesome sauce.

dfgfdgdf
Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 3, Technical= 3


Considering the spelling mistakes in your summary, I felt it wasn't even worth reading the story. I've given you a three (neutral) rating across the board to reflect that.

Sorry. :(

DHOOSE
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Honestly? Not as good as your deput story.

D
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 4

Fun story but I agree it needed more at the end.

anonymous
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Very good

aryanwolf
Overall= 5, BE= 3, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

this story was actually the first to be an amazing story! i loved the detail in the story, however the BE should have had the same attention to detail as well.

Noone
Overall= 3, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

The technical aspects were good, but it just wasn't hot enough. Perhaps you should try writing a real story instead of smut? :p

Xoot
Overall= 5, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

Great story, loved the writing. It flowed really well. My only complaint was the length of the story and the lack of descriptions on when the BE happened and the amount of it, it sort of just seemed like steps of growth without much description or reaction from the characters. Definitely improving, keep up the good work.

Blamandude
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

Character development is never a bad thing, and this story does it well. The beach scene was well done.

Scourge
Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Great storyline, great description, but i agree, there was a little too much lead-in. still, the best i've read for a while... very, very well done

Squishy
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

This story is apparently about ice cream. Not an apology. Basically, two thirds of the story had only growth and no plot. Which is fine. But spending the entire first THIRD of it explaining WHY they're at the beach was completely pointless. And boring, quite frankly.

Only one person speaking per paragraph. When a new person speaks, start a new paragraph. Always. No exceptions. Ever.

so what
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 5

As much as i like development, i think it fell short at the BE and sex, the main course needed more calories

gman1
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

I enjoyed the previous one better, but this was certainly a fun romp.

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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: