The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

The Weasel
Ancient Magic
"Here is buried the cursed one.  If any man disturbs this place the curse shall fall on him and all who touch anything inside." Go easy on me this is my first attempt.  Please let me know what you think. 
Average Scores:

Overall= 3, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

It's a good start, but like the others have said, it needs work. It also feels unfinished.

Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 2

It needed a little more process and your grammar was pretty bad man. Other than that you have a good story going. But why did he turn into a female if she put the rings on?

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

A great start. Aside from a number of technical errors it is a nice idea. I can't wait to see more.

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

It could use some work, yes, but you're off to a good start. I eagerly await your next chapter. If I could suggest something, it would be to be a bit more descriptive. Especially about the transformations (since that's why most of us are here in the first place.) Keep writing!

Overall= 1, BE= 1, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

The language needs a great deal of work.

Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 4, Technical= 2

The set up is interesting but the end section is abrupt and feels hurried.

Overall= 5, BE= 4, Characters= 4, Technical= 4

I think you could elaborate on the details a bit more, but the story is coming along very well. Keep up the good work!

Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 3

Needs a little more work with some structural basics but the style and story was enjoyable.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
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Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: