The Definitive BE Story Archive

The Overflowing Bra

opailopai
Gary's Talent
First story- Gary discovers he has the power to mold people to his minds desire.
Average Scores:

Joce37
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

An enjoyable read. I felt that the writer's device of describing in succession both Gary's feelings and that of his 'victims' was successful - it certainly worked for me. I look forward to reading in due course how Gary develops his new-found power.

Eggman
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Good start, not bad for a first story. Occasional grammatical errors, but nothing too detracting. The BE needs more description though - rookie mistake of describing the growth through nothing but lettered cup sizes. Even sports equipment or produce is better (albeit clichéd) as it gives a better mental image. This story has potential - would enjoy seeing more, and more detailed to boot.

Katheb
Overall= 4, BE= 4, Characters= 3, Technical= 5

Tis good but it felt that it when into the BE too fast and just Knowing what to do at that time [when he ran outside] seems like the easy way .

not that im a writer or anything .

Good work

cmdr_mark@hotpop.com
Overall= 3, BE= 4, Characters= 1, Technical= 1

Story needs some defineit work. I can see the potential, but a good editor and some more practice would turn this into a great story.

Multaur
Overall= 5, BE= 5, Characters= 5, Technical= 5

MORE MORE!

DarkPhoenix
Overall= 4, BE= 5, Characters= 4, Technical= 3

Good Popcorn, Really. But I want the feast...:)

hardwiredd
Overall= 4, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 3

not bad

Dinner
Overall= 2, BE= 3, Characters= 2, Technical= 1

Like Eggman said, just having cups to describe the BE and nothing else seriously hurt the overall effect; but, the nipple part was pretty descript. I like Gary as a character, but you didn't really give him much to do aside from sculpt girls. The plotline was very disappointing. The technical quality kept snagging my attention, so I'm sorry if I was harsher in the other areas than I might have been, for sake of not catching something that I should have. Gary, as a character, has potential. Even though I've seen it before, the "artist who can sculpt women in the same way he draws" is one of my favorite BE concepts.

Benji Dude
Overall= 3, BE= 2, Characters= 1, Technical= 2

short and sweat, lots of room for expansion, if you'll excuse the pun. I agree with what's been said cup size's aren't great as a form of discribing how large breasts are.

You might want to slow the tempo down a bit as well, it felt like things were going at light speed.

Please give the authors feedback, I can not emphasize enough how important it is to them.
Due to comment spam, any new posts with http in them will be destroyed.
Your Nickname:

Rate this story from 1-5 stars (5 stars is best) in the following categories:

Overall Enjoyment(How much did you like the story overall?)
1 2 3 4 5

BE Description (Detail, quantity, quality)
1 2 3 4 5

Characters (Descriptions, likeability)
1 2 3 4 5

Technical Quality (Writing style, grammar, etc.)
1 2 3 4 5

Your comments on the story: