I just want to mention how obvious it is this person has never shopped at Victoria's Secret, haha! They don't carry anything over D-cup and $200 will get you two bras and a bottle of hand lotion. Three piles? I wish!
I'm not able to give as technical an analysis as Bill Pratt but I truely enjoyed this story.
A nicely descriptive work with very nice sex scenes. I like it when the girl
is teased beyond her resistance and delivered to enormous orgasms.
The BE is not so good. Once they got to a huge size, they are well and
pleasurably handled, but the path to the big boobs is described in terms of
cups and brief passages of swelling. It misses the mark for me, but the breast
play folk will get into the last quarter.
Not much is really known about the characters, nor do they get much time in
the story, but it's short so I'm not surprised or offended.
The grammar and mechanics aren't bad--it could use a another proofing pass
for lost punctuation (Second quote in the second paragraph is missing the
closing quote, for example).
Unfortunately, the syntax is unusual enough for me to jump to the not
English-native conclusion. For example, "Shouldn't I come first than this
silly video game?" should be "Shouldn't I come before this silly video game?"
This is far better than the story being written in the native language and
passed through Babblefish or the like, so only one thing really bugged me:
OMG should have been spelled out completely.
Once the basic wording is sorted out, leftStanding needs to watch out for
passive phrasing (marked by too much "is" and "was", usually) and
maintaining the tense.
The basic requirements of the story (it begins, things progress, and it has a
recognizable ending) and genre (boobs got big) are met.